#35 Some Much Needed Cookie comfort

Weeks that start with a bank holiday Monday throw me off… Friday’s I can cope with, they’re like a little bonus that comes before the weekend, but I find myself wasting a bank holiday Monday - I live the day in a state of limbo, neither settling into it and enjoying the extra rest, nor being productive and ‘getting stuff done’. I subsequently spend the remainder of the week not having a clue what day it is; it seems to drag and yet time evaporates. Ultimately, I reach the end of the week, and realise I haven’t done what I need to do by the time I need to do it, not ideal! This week has been no exception, and I’m once again writing this week’s newsletter just hours before I intend on sending it out to you - needless to say, I’m feeling slightly stressed - huge apologies if I miss the mark in terms of content and I’ve decided that Bank holiday Monday’s should come with a manual of how to approach the remainder of the week!!!

Anyway, how are we all? Did you all have a good Easter weekend? Mine was largely indifferent, although I worked on Saturday, and ate more hot cross buns than is customary during other weekends throughout the year - not a bad thing, I’m sure we all agree. On the topic of hot cross buns, if you have any leftover from Easter, absolutely do NOT waste that goodness - Hot cross bun French toast should be on your hit list, OR follow Rachel Khoo’s lead and create a little ‘pain au chocolat’ situation with HXB’s instead of brioche - Rachel has shared a couple of versions of this recently which, for obvious reasons, have been extremely popular - the latest she toasted to give a crème brûlée crust and it looks completely drool worthy - defo worth a try (recipe here). If that doesn’t float your boat, make a Hot cross bun bread and butter pudding - I sense that you could adapt this recipe from Nicola, substituting Brioche with Hot cross buns, for a next level B&B pud (also if you have my first book, ‘The Joy of Baking’ I share a recipe for ‘single serve Bread and Butter pudding’ that I think would work wonderfully with leftover HXB in place of the white bread… just saying!)

THE PIT

I’m sorry to be typically me and ever-so British but WHAT HAS THIS WEATHER BEEN? My feet are still thawing, and my hot water bottle has been doing overtime! Rain, wind, and cold are each bad in isolation…. but mash them together and you have a fully loaded misery ‘sandwich’, not ideal when you’re already in a cavernous pit of sadness and anxiety.

Talking of this pit… yup I’m ashamed to report that I’m still firmly IN IT - if anything, the bottom of my pit seems to have become deeper than I thought possible, Wednesday was a particularly bad day, I just felt altogether numb and achingly low, it was really bad, (huge thanks to my incredible Mum for picking me up as best she could this week!).

I’m really hesitant to be truthful about how I’m feeling at the moment - I don’t want sympathy, it’s boring to constantly be down, it makes people behave awkwardly when I say: ‘I feel crap’, (understandably, people don’t know what to say), and it’s hardly a joyful or positive message to put out to the world. However, it struck me recently, having chatted to a few friends about their personal battles, that we so often hide how we feel until we are ‘out the other side’… and this BAFFLES me, why don’t we share our struggles when we are experiencing them? When it actually hurts? Isn’t that the time when we need to be most open and therefore supported. Equally, isn’t it a better message to others who may also be struggling, that transparency when things are hard is so much better than keeping it all inside your head? In my view, we may as well be in the pit together, and even if we can’t help each other out, we can sit together in the dark until we find the strength to clamber out? Maybe I’m talking rubbish but this idea feels a little comforting.
(*slight aside - fellow baker, John Whaite, shared that, he too, had been feeling particularly low this week. John echoed my point above that he didn’t expect sympathy but hoped that it served as some comfort to anyone who felt equally overwhelmed and sad, that they were not alone. It feels a bit wrong to say that I found this hugely comforting, but I really did, just knowing that I wasn’t completely abnormal for feeling the way that I did. I guess this reiterates my point that transparency is always a good thing - it helps ease the burden for you and may just help someone else feel less alone too! Premise of the story… don’t feel you can’t be honest about you feel and huge Thanks and love to John for his openness xxx)

Despite how I’ve been feeling this week, I did have a slight breakthrough moment on Wednesday - I felt so unbearably low in the Morning, the weather was vile, I had baked a cake that tasted of bicarb, and an attempt at ‘perking myself up’ by going to the gym, lasted just 5 mins before walking out discretely crying under the hood of my coat. I subsequently got home and ate a very sub-standard lunch, before deciding that I HAD to get myself out of the house. I took myself for a brisk walk into town, the weather was utterly vile, but the fresh air and movement was tonic for the soul. I also bought some British asparagus which felt exciting (I’m so cool), a tub of reduced Manilife, and a packet of the best roasted nuts* (both from TK Maxx - my favourite shop for a random selection of cheap, premium ingredients). I then got home and washed my hair for the first time in over a week, baked another small batch of cake (as a test), and in the evening watched the Louis Capaldi documentary on Netflix (I recommend this HIGHLY by the way) before finally flopping into bed and enjoying a thoroughly good night’s sleep!!! No, things weren’t miraculously ‘better’ but the afternoon/evening felt like a very welcome mini triumph!

*these are the nuts - if you see this brand lurking in TK Maxx (or anywhere else for that matter) BUY THEM, they’re so good!

THE KITCHEN

Whilst my mood has remained low, my appetite for kitchen experiments hasn’t waned. My Chocolate Chip Cookie analysis continued on from where it left off last week - culminating in not one, not two, but THREE very different, but remarkably delightful outcomes for you to try (more on that in a mo). I have also been on the hunt for a decent coconut cake - one that isn’t DRY, has some ‘fluffiness’ and tastes suitably coconutty… as it turns out, this is quite a big ask (as demonstrated by some of my early attempts which were disastrous). However, on Friday morning, I had a breakthrough that not only hit every spot, but also helped to lift my mood for a short while (it was quite a BIG DEAL). Finally, I’ve been desperately trying to manifest better weather with bowls of sunshine filled pasta - I’m still waiting for the sun, but the pasta has been a very welcome comfort.

After all that Kitchen chat, I think it’s about time I let you in on my cookie discoveries… Let’s go!

CCC’s

I hate myself a bit for providing you with MORE chocolate chip cookie content… let’s be honest, it’s been done to death and quite honestly, I’m not sure there is huge manoeuvre for ground-breaking development. However, I felt compelled to have a go myself, having tried a fair few renditions in the past and failing to understand the nuances at play.

There isn’t a huge amount of clarity when it comes to the origin of the Chocolate Chip Cookie, but essentially it is thought to be the brainchild of chef Ruth Wakefield back in 1938. The exact story seems unclear but essentially, Ruth added chocolate chips (supposedly Nestle) to her cookie recipe one day and was pretty damn chuffed with the outcome (for a better, albeit still slightly hazy, account of this story, have a read of Wikipedia here). Recipes that have been developed thereafter have been tweaks of this original.

A more radical evolution of the CCC was developed by chef Jaques Torres which ended up being published in a 2008 New York Times article to wide acclaim. The recipe featured proportionally less butter and eggs than Ruth’s original yielding a gooey centre, less spread and a richer overall flavour. Recent recipes seem to veer more towards this formula… and I’m very much on board with it!

Other adaptations over the years range from the ultra-crunchy, crisp, thin and wide (my fave), to the thick, chunky, gooey centred, and full of ‘add-ins’ Levain-style cookie (which you can read more about here) . Whilst I enjoy the full range, because let’s face it, it’s hard not to love a CCC, I’ve decided I’m slightly more towards team crunch - apparently dry and crunchy is my jam!

Before I dive into my winning recipes, I would like to acknowledge some favourites produced by fellow bakers:

• Edd kimber’s Best ever CCC - it’s got brown butter in it and extra yolks -for unrivalled flavour and a fudgy texture - it’s a goodie.

• Nicola Lamb’s Levain stye cookie - if you like the thick n’chunky, this is for you.

A note on ingredients - I hate sounding like a snob but quality ingredients - particularly when it comes to the chocolate - really do enhance the overall result of your cookie. So if you want the best, use the best - for chocolate I use Callebaut, Guittards or Valrhona. Buy decent butter (80% + fat content), some quality eggs and good quality flour - not only are you supporting better farming and milling practices, but you also reap rewards in your baking quality! One other little thing: Queen of baking Stella Parks notes in her CCC recipe here that a pinch of ground nutmeg enhances the natural flavour of butter - so I obv listened to her and included it in each of my recipes below - this is totally optional, but having tried it during these tests, I’m now team Nutmeg.

A top tip for perfectly round cookies:
*(I learned this from baking guru Erin of Cloudy kitchen)

The "Cookie Scoot" - this is an optional step, but great for yielding bakery worthy cookies. All you do is take a round object (slightly larger than the cookie - I use a cookie cutter). As soon as the cookies come out of the oven, while they are still hot, put the cutter over/around the cookie and 'scoot' or circle it gently around the edges nudging it into a perfectly round shape. Then leave the cookies to cool as recommended in the recipe - it’s such a winning little trick.

FINALLY, below are the recipes for:

• my OG classic CCC - fudgy middle, crunchy outside, sweet/salty, rich and flavourful, suitably chocolate-y - YUM!

• a personal fave - the crispy crunchy cookie - butterscotch-y, and complex with flavour… just GREAT!

Then my third recipe - a total accident, a thick and crunchy ‘Fake Maryland’ - is one for paid Comfort Chronicle subscribers - consider it a little thank you for your unbelievable kindness, care and support… I do hope you find it as nostalgic and delightful as I did!

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The Comfort Chronicles is a reader-supported publication. To receive this bonus Cookie recipe and to support my work, consider becoming a paid subscriber

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Right… recipe time…

THE OG Classic

This is really just a slight tweak on Jaques Torres’ beauty… I used a slightly different ratio of brown and caster sugar for a little less moistness and a bit more crunch, I also included a pinch of ground nutmeg like Stella suggests. Finally, I used less raising agent, just opting for bicarb - it was an accident but worked for me - and I chucked in more chocolate - because it’s the best bit right? This was my winning outcome.

Recipe

Makes 14

Ingredients

140g Unsalted butter, softened
130g Light brown soft sugar
120g Caster sugar
50g Egg Weight out of shell
1 tsp vanilla extract
0.5 tsp bicarbonate of soda
4-5g Flaky sea salt
240g Plain flour (I used Shipton mill’s ‘wholesome white’ blend)
1/8th tsp Ground Nutmeg optional
260g Dark chocolate, chips/callets or from a bar - chopped into large chunks

Method

Measure the butter and both sugars into the bowl of a stand mixer. Cream together for 1–2 minutes until paler, (not looking for light and fluffy here, just homogenous).

Add the egg incrementally, beat until evenly combined. Next add the vanilla and beat until just incorporated.

In a large bowl, mix together the flour, bicarbonate of soda, salt and optional nutmeg and add to the butter/sugar/egg mix. Mix on a low speed until just combined.

Add the chopped chocolate and fold or mix again on a low speed until evenly distributed. 

Scoop out approx 60-g portions of the cookie dough and roll into balls - the dough will be quite sticky, I find slightly damp hands can help here. Place the dough balls on a baking tray(s) lined with parchment. Transfer to the fridge to chill/rest overnight.

The next day, preheat the oven to 180°C /160°Cfan

Make sure the dough balls are spaced evenly and with plenty of room to spread out as they bake. Bake the cookies for 18-20 minutes. (16 mins if you want them super soft in the middle). Leave to cool for 10 mins on the trays before transferring to a wire rack to cool fully.

THE THIN N’ CRISPY

I think this one is my favourite, although I must admit, I have a tendency to change my mind… it’s butterscotch-y, crunchy, has a rippled surface, a slight chew, and is a very resilient little dough - I ended up completely destroying one cookie mid bake and it survived the ordeal yielding a slightly wonky but utterly delicious cookie.

Recipe

Makes 10

Ingredients

110g Unsalted butter, softened
50g Light brown soft sugar
125g Caster sugar
55g Egg Weight out of shell
1 tsp Vanilla extract
1/2 tsp Bicarbonate of soda
1/2 tsp Sea salt
130g Plain flour
25g Rolled Oats
1/8th tsp Ground Nutmeg optional
140g Dark chocolate, chips/callets or from a bar - chopped into large chunks

Method

First toast the oats in a frying pan placed over a medium heat - shake the pan periodically to make sure they are not catching. Once smelling toasty, set aside to cool.

Meanwhile, measure the butter and both sugars into the bowl of a stand mixer. Cream together for 1–2 minutes until paler - approx 1-2 mins (not looking for light and fluffy here, just homogenous).

Add the egg incrementally, beating until evenly combined. Next add the vanilla and beat until just incorporated.

In a large bowl, mix together the flour, oats, bicarbonate of soda, salt and optional nutmeg and add to the butter/sugar/egg mix. Mix on a low speed until just combined.

Add the chopped chocolate and fold or mix again on a low speed until evenly distributed. 

Transfer the dough to a bowl and refrigerate for 1 hour.

After 50 minutes, preheat the oven to 180C/160C fan. Once the dough has chilled, scoop out ~60g balls - as above, use slightly damp hands to help with rolling. Place the dough balls spread WELL apart on baking trays lined with parchment - they spread a lot so give them loads of room. Bake in the oven for 18-20 minutes or until spread out and golden. (after 12 minutes, you can remove the baking tray from the oven and firmly bang it on the work top - it flattens the cookie a bit and really enhances the ripples) Once baked, cool on the trays.

• Once balled up, these can be refrigerated for up to 48 hours and baked as above or frozen and baked from frozen - Cookie emergencies are a thing are they not? You will need to add a couple of minutes to the cooking time to ensure they are cooked.

WHAT ELSE?

• Well, I hear the weather is set to improve next week… PLEASE SAY THIS IS TRUE!

• I really love book shops - I popped into Waterstones during the week and I just felt so calm and peaceful while I was in there, I could pore over all of the books for hours.

• Bold Bean beans - I know I bang on about them a lot but I really love them… this week I’ve had the red beans (as a sub for black beans) in my black bean chilli, organic chickpeas in my chickpea ratatouille and I’m currently ploughing through a jar of butterbeans - besides snaffling spoonfuls out of the jar, I’ve enjoyed them with grains and veggies for lunch over the last couple of days; such a simple winner!

• Olive is back on top form… and by top form I mean yo-yo-ing between utterly delightful and annoyingly disobedient… I think they call this stage in the game adolescence - such fun!

• I have been sent a Saffron bun recipe by a friend and cannot wait to try it (maybe next week)… I also want to have another go at that quiche I made a few weeks back… oh and, given that I intend on eating all the asparagus I can find over the next few weeks, I’m seeking out recipes which really showcase it - any recommendations welcome!!!

• I HATE to sound like I’m boasting but… my neighbour, Linda, came to tell me that the hot cross bun I gave her (last week’s recipe) was the best she had ever had. As dramatic as it sounds, I totally welled up hearing this - I was so so touched. Thanks Linda!

• FINALLY - I absolutely adored reading this cake analogy from Fearne Cotton - give it a read and remember: Just be yourself: don’t pretend to be someone else or wipe off your sprinkles because someone doesn’t like you, be YOU, a proud Viccie sponge!

Right, I think that’s about all I have to share this week, as ever, I do hope you are all doing ok and if not, nestle down, stay safe, the clouds will clear, and things will improve.

Sending so much love and hugs!

Steph xxx