#7 Coming Alive

EEEk, I’ve found some sparkle again I think! I’m somewhat scared to admit it - when I feel ok, it almost seems too good to be true, I anticipate the next comedown; another worry or fear or overwhelming anxiety… but right now, I’m using all my strength to live in this moment of relative peace and gosh it feels marvellous - obv the glorious sunshine is a massive help.

Much as my mood is somewhat unfathomable in regard to how it varies from one minute to the next, I attribute some of the change in how I feel right now to a few key things:

• Talking - I felt really rubbish on Monday, Sunday was tough, but I worked which helped distract me a bit, come Monday though, I was so lost. I still felt sad and quiet, yet my head was chaotic. The change to my routine (I usually work on a Saturday) made everything feel wrong. I put an extra pressure on trying to develop recipes for this weeks newsletter instead of allowing it to be organic and real - the result was some disastrous chocolate and peanut butter biscuits, you’ll be delighted to hear that I won’t be giving you the recipe for them. I was just overthinking everything; from what to do with myself and my worth, to my health again - every ache and pain was magnified. Anyway, I mustered the energy to chat to one of my best friends on Monday evening, and laughed my way through the phone call - largely regarding my wild thoughts - speaking things out loud really helped put things in some perspective, no, the worries didn’t vanish but they certainly became quieter.

• A BOOK - one that I’m absolutely obsessed with. I mentioned to you last week that I chatted to Millie Stone - she recommended a book to me which you may have heard of, it’s called Ikigai -The Japanese secret to a long and happy life. Now I hold my hands up, I’ve always been quite a cynic when it comes to meditation, living in the moment, the concept of ‘flow’ and ‘present-ness’, (I’m a cynic because I can’t do it which frustrates me!), but this book may have changed my mind - I’ve devoured it in a few days which is unheard of for me!
  I don’t think I can do it justice in terms of giving you any sort of synopsis, but if you’re struggling in any way, want to find a bit more peace, or are yet discover your purpose in life, please buy it and then can we all go and visit Okinawa because it sounds magical!!!

• Baking - OK so I’ve come full circle - Mondays carnage bakes weren’t exactly uplifting but when I managed to tame my wild thoughts, I made some of my favourite things - bread obv, meringues, roasted nuts, salads and summery pastas - and I was back on a cloud of baking/cooking euphoria!

So… moral of the story is: be patient with your emotions, talk, read that book and get baking!!!!

Some other little comforting nuggets from this week:

I mentioned it above, but I’ve really indulged in this beautiful weather. I juts adore it when the sun shines and have spent a whole lotta time outdoors, breakfast lunch and dinner - up early and out till late, just because I can - it really is such a powerful tonic.

I’ve had another couple of appointments this week - I’m always a bit unnerved by having to attend medical appointments; I think it’s just a major fear of the unknown, I also find them really exhausting… but it’s all part of piecing me back together again and there is always something positive to take away from these things - which is a ‘note to self’ that I should be less fearful next time - pretty sure I will forget this though!!!

Last night I went to a friends birthday party (a bit novel for me as I don’t go out much). It was a proper dressed up kind-of-party… which meant I had to… dress up - not something I’m that great at - needless to say, I was a little nervous. Nevertheless, I managed to dig an old dress out from the depths of my wardrobe, throw a bit of sparkle at my face and have a thoroughly enjoyable evening. I caught up with a bunch of lovely people I hadn’t seen in a while, celebrated, laughed and enjoyed some good food - happy days!

Besides all of that… there has been: 1 bed change, several mini food shops, bin day (why is bin day always such a drag?) and a few bits of admin, on a spectrum, it’s been pretty golden! But now it’s time for the really hot stuff, so here goes:

THE PORRIDGE LOWDOWN

Ok so Google informed me that June the 23rd was National porridge day, which, I find somewhat bizarre given that the majority of people consider porridge to be a Winter Breakfast and it is currently early Summer - maybe I should research the reasoning behind this some more?!! 
Nevertheless, this is apparently the case, and given that I live for the stuff each morning, I obviously have to acknowledge it, so here we are. As with many of the things I produce, I convinced myself that I should be on the lookout for something a bit novel and ‘extraordinary’ in terms of what I share with you recipe wise but then I decided I like what I do, and I should be a bit more confident that it’s good enough for you too, it also epitomises PURE comfort for me - and that’s what we are here to celebrate right?
I will therefore share with you EXACTLY what I do - yes, there are specific details, it’s a ritual - and you have to plan ahead… but you can’t call yourself a committed porridge fan if you don’t work it into your routine, end of! 

Ingredients

30g Jumbo porridge oats (I use Mornflake)
30g Medium Oatmeal (again I use Mornflake)
200g Semi skimmed milk 
100ml Unsweetened almond milk
Pinch of salt
1 inch very ripe banana
Flavourings: 1/4 tsp vanilla bean paste/1/4 tsp cinnamon (depending on your toppings)

Toppings:
Peanut butter/chopped roasted nuts
Toasted seeds
Fruit - baked stone fruit/berry compote/fresh fruit
Yoghurt

Method

Rule number 1 - start the night before (I find this essential - the oats soak for longer and therefore become tender - admittedly they don’t possess much ‘bite’ this way but its comfort and Goldilocks-esque IMO). 

Rule 2 - toast your oats - ok so this is a faff but it gives them a whole new flavour dimension that I very much appreciate - I just pop them in a dry pan over a medium heat for a couple of minutes or until they smell fragrant - make sure you give the pan a shuffle from time to time to keep them from catching. Remove from the heat and pop in a bowl - allow to cool. Once cooled pour over the milks, cover and leave overnight to soak. The following morning, mash a chunk of banana into your oats with any flavourings - here I usually add vanilla or cinnamon dependent on what I’m having on top. 

Rule 3 - COOK IT ON THE HOB - I used to use the microwave then I found the saucepan… I’m just sorry I didn’t find it sooner because, despite the extra time it takes, the difference is major*. Transfer the oats mixture to a saucepan and place over a medium heat. 

RULE 4 - STIR STIR STIR - like risotto, this baby needs attention, keep it moving in the pan - the more love you put in, the more you get out. Bring to a simmer stirring constantly, continue to stir for around 5 minutes or until the mixture starts to thicken - I actually think thickness is entirely personal - if you like it thick, keep it on the heat a bit longer. Once at a desired consistency, add the salt and stir through then leave to cool in the pan for 2 mins. Transfer to your serving bowl, top with yoghurt - natural/Greek - your choice, a tablespoon of (toasted seeds), a dollop of peanut butter/tbsp of chopped toasted nuts, and your fruit of choice - I find a compote or roasted/baked fruits work best - see last weeks apricots, rhubarb from a couple of weeks back, this insta post for plums and below for a blueberry compote that I’ve just fallen in love with!

Blueberry compote

Serves 1

Ingredients

50g Blueberries - my preference here is defrosted frozen blueberries but if you can get some lovely ripe ones then absolutely go for them! 
1/4 tsp Brown sugar or 1/4 tsp maple syrup
1 tsp lemon juice
Pinch of ground cinnamon optional

Method

Pop the blueberries, sugar and lemon juice into a bowl and leave to macerate for a minimum of 20 minutes - you could do this overnight. Once macerated place in a small saucepan over a low/medium heat - gently mash some of the berries to release some of their juices a little. Bring to a simmer and cook for 5 minutes or until reduced down. Transfer to a small bowl, add an optional pinch of cinnamon, stir through and allow to cool. Refrigerate and use the following day for ultra flavour, alternatively enjoy warm.

Wholemeal pitta/flatbread

You know I’m generally just bread obsessed but I think the best summer lunches involve something bread-y that you can either dip or smear in something saucy and load with other fun stuff - I’m thinking meze vibes - pitta/flatbread, stuffed with falafel* and smeared with hummus, guac, tzatziki - YES PLEASE. I also love how quick and relatively easy flatbreads are to prepare - you can rustle them up without much prior planning which is also a massive bonus. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a soft doughy white pitta, a recipe I often revert to is that of Dan Lepard’s, it’s miraculously simple and yields a wonderful result, however, I also like the nuttiness and additional flavour that wholemeal flours add, plus you get extra fibre which is never a bad thing. 
I’ll be honest with you, this dough is STICKY, but I’ve suggested a method that works well for me, whereby you periodically knead and rest the dough, the additional rest time allows the gluten molecules to align. This combined with some gentle kneading, achieves the desired gluten formation.

Ingredients

200g Wholemeal bread flour (I use either: Duchy organic or Shipton Mill)
175g White bread flour
6g Instant dried active yeast
7g Salt
1 tsp runny honey
25ml orange juice
2 tbsp olive oil
250ml water lukewarm

Method

Combine all of the ingredients in a medium sized bowl. Leave to autolyse for 20 minutes. 

If working by hand: knead in the bowl for 2 minutes using the Rubaud method - it takes a little practice but you got this! Leave to rest for 10 minutes, repeat the knead and rest 2-3 more times - the dough is ready when it is smoother and super elastic - wholemeal breads always have a tendency to be a little more ‘bitty’ but it should feel very different to when you started out. Once you are happy, leave to prove for around 90 minutes or until pouffy and at least doubled in size. 

Preheat the oven to 245C/225C fan and place a baking stone inside to heat up - if you only have a baking tray this will still work. Knock back and divide into 8 balls - use a scattering of flour to stop it from sticking too much. Cover with a tea bowl and rest for 15-20 minutes then use a rolling pin to roll out into ovals about 13x17, rest for another couple of minutes - they will shrink back a bit. Bake directly on the baking stone for 4-5 minutes or until puffed up and golden - you will probably have to work in batches. Once baked, remove and leave to cool on a wire rack covered with a tea towel. If you are not eating straight away, pop them in the toaster briefly to heat them up again before you dive in.

NOTES:

*This is the recipe for Meera Sodha’s baked Carrot falafels which I posted on instagram earlier in the week - I make the following few changes: I speed things up a bit by using tinned chickpeas - Waitrose essentials ones work a treat because they’re quite small, nutty and firmer than some other varieties. I use 1 x 400g tin of chickpeas - drained, rinsed and dried with some paper towel to absorb any excess moisture - and halve the remainder of Sodha’s recipe - i.e. 100g carrot, 1.5 garlic cloves, 1/2 tsp cumin seeds etc, with the exception of: parsley (10g for this amount) and chilli flakes (I only add a pinch but this is up to you!). I then proceed as per the recipe suggests by portioning into 8 ‘patties’ approximately 40g in weight and bake for 25-30 minutes (carefully flipping half way) at 180C fan. 
** For flatbreads - roll the rested dough balls into circles - about 18cm diameter - place a heavy based sauce pan over a medium high heat, once hot, dry-fry each flatbread dough circle for 2-3 minutes each side - they should puff up a bit on top and may blister in places underneath. Once cooked, remove from the heat and cool on a wire rack covered with a tea towel and continue with the remaining dough circles.

Crystallised roasted Almonds

A very addictive sweet, salty & roasty nut situation. They don’t look like much, but don’t judge a book by its cover - please try them!!!

Ingredients

135g almonds
50g Caster sugar
25g Water
Pinch of Maldon salt

Method

Place the almonds on a baking tray and roast in the oven (preheated to 190C/170C fan) for 8-10 mins or until golden and smelling fragrant. Allow to cool and use a sharp knife to chop into slivers (as best you can, just don’t make them too small!). Next combine the sugar and water in a saucepan and place over a medium heat, allow the sugar to dissolve before turning up the heat and bringing to 116C on a digital thermometer. When the sugar syrup reaches this temperature, reduce the heat and immediately add the nuts and salt and stir with a heatproof spatula. Continue to agitate the nuts (just keep stirring) until the sugar begins to crystallise - it goes white and looks a bit broken and wrong, it’s NOT. Remove from the heat and dump out onto a baking tray. Allow to cool completely. 

Raspberry ripple Eton mess

I have an issue - lol, ok I have loads of issues, but specifically, I have a very real problem with having to buy berries almost every time I enter a food shop when they are in season… they’re just SO visually appealing and seem such a treat! Faced with countless punnets of raspberries this week, I realised I needed to make a mess… specifically a raspberry mess. This is such a simple no-nonsense dessert that showcases berries in their prime, I’ve also kept this recipe slightly lighter with a predominantly Greek yoghurt base - although you can obviously stay traditional with cream (creme fraiche would also be magical) - and added an extra flavour dimension in the form of almond-y meringues and a scattering of those crystallised almonds - see above. This photo doesn’t really do it justice but don’t overthink it, grab a meringue, something creamy, tumble over raspberries and a drizzle of raspberry sauce, scatter with almonds - shove it all in and feel smug!

Ingredients

Almond Meringues

1 large egg white room temp
50g Caster sugar
pinch of sea salt
1/4 tsp vinegar
1/4 tsp cornflour
1/4 tsp almond extract
Handful of flaked almonds

Raspberry sauce

100g raspberries
10g caster sugar
1 tsp lemon juice

To finish
150g Greek yoghurt 
50 Double cream
1 tsp Icing sugar
1.5 tsp Amaretto - optional
150 fresh raspberries

Handful of Crystallised almonds

Method

First prepare the meringue. Preheat the oven to 135C/115C fan (this is as low as my oven will go, for super white meringues, keep it down at 120C/100C fan and bake for a little longer). Combine the egg white and a pinch of salt in a medium sized grease-free bowl. Use an electric hand whisk to whisk to a frothy consistency/soft peak. With the whisk still running, incrementally add the caster sugar whisking well between each addition, once all of the sugar has been added, continue to whisk for around 5 minutes or until the mixture is smooth and glossy, and the sugar has completely dissolved - rub a bit between two fingers - it shouldn’t feel grainy! Next add the cornflour and vinegar and whisk just to combine, then add the optional almond extract. Dollop 6 mounds onto a lined baking tray, top with a scattering of flaked almonds, and bake in the oven for 70 minutes or until they pull away from the parchment - be careful this recipe yields quite a fragile meringue. Once baked, leave in the oven to cool for 60-90 minutes for a wonderful chewy meringue - wedge the door slightly open with a wooden spoon - then remove and leave to cool completely before storing in an airtight container until ready to use.

Next prepare the raspberry sauce. Combine the raspberries, sugar and lemon juice in a bowl, leave to macerate for a minimum of 20 minutes. Transfer to a small saucepan and place over a medium heat, bring to a simmer and cook for 2-3 minutes or until slightly reduced. Pass the mixture through a sieve - I got about 40g worth out - and leave to cool to room temp before covering and refrigerating.

When ready to assemble, combine the double cream icing sugar and optional amaretto in a small bowl. Whisk to soft peaks before adding the greek yoghurt and briefly whisking to combine. Crumble the meringues into the yoghurt/cream mixture followed by 100g of the raspberries and stir to combine. Distribute half of this mixture evenly between 3 serving glasses or bowls, then scatter half of the remaining raspberries in each and drizzle with a teaspoon of raspberry sauce. Repeat with the remainder of the yoghurt/cream, raspberries and raspberry sauce, sprinkle over some of the crystallised almonds and serve immediately. 

THE EXTRAS

• Freeze chunks of fresh mango, then on a hot afternoon, remove from the freezer and leave out for 5-10 minutes before chucking them in a high speed blender and blitzing until just smooth - have yourself an unbelievable instant fruity sorbet.

• COLD AS ICE cloudy lemonade or Orangina - OMG the childhood memories that these drinks evoke!!! They are iconic and yes I’ve been enjoying them on tap this week!

• Another MOB recipe - this time a slow cooked courgette pasta that was (again) D-VINE - defo worth a try if you have a little time on your hands!

• The Sewing Bee semi-final - if you haven’t watched it, don’t read the next sentence - I was SO delighted to see all four INCREDIBLE girls make it into the final, I just love seeing creative people doing magical things and the happiness and emotion at the end of that episode was PURE JOY to watch!

• SPORT - this weekend has been the British Athletics Championships which I’ve loved and next week Wimbledon starts - scones at the ready and grab the Pimms! I can’t WAIT!

• …ALSOOOO… I am off to the F1 British Grand Prix next weekend- Mum and I have been going for 13 years now and we love it. It’s always feels like a mini adventure; we pack up the car to bursting point, we camp (not our usual preference but at Silverstone it’s different), we meet people, eat ice cream (donuts if it’s cold and wet) and watch some great sport - the whole weekend is such a great atmosphere, I guess it’s like a sporting festival? I’m just waiting for the day (in my dreams) when someone invites me into the paddock to see things a bit more ‘up close and personal’! (side note - based on this I’m not sure whether I will be able to get a newsletter out next weekend, I’m so so so sorry… I may manage to capture a bit of the start of the week which I will share with you if possible but other wise I’ll be back in two weeks to tell you all about it and much more!)

• Finally, I’m rounding this off with a belter of a quote that I read this week:

  “Don’t ask yourself what the World needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that, because what the World needs is people who come alive”

Hope you have all had a thoroughly enjoyable week - will do my best to check in next weekend if not see you in a couple of weeks keep smiling, worry less and do what you love.

Loads of love! XXX