#42 Thinking is a dangerous sport...

Hi, Hello, How are we all doing? Another 7 days have passed, how did we live them?

Before I barrel into telling you ‘all about me’, it’s time for another thank you. Firstly, thank you to Anne for involving me in her quest to make my Greek salad recipe from last week. I know I’ve said it before, but it really makes me so happy to learn that people are trying or have tried (and enjoyed… although constructive feedback is also welcome) my recipes, so thanks Anne! And never hesitate to tag me, ask questions, or send me pictures if you make my recipes in the future, I love it!

Second, I was absolutely THRILLED to hear some of your favourite summer meals and bakes, as well as the stories that accompanied them. I feel really inspired to give some of them (actually all of them) a go. Peaches, potatoes, and salads seem to be your top summer scorers, and for very good reason. NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING beats a perfect juicy peach (I still remember ones I bought in Mallorca when I holidayed there as a child… Borough Market also had some stunning peaches when I visited last summer). Sweet, buttery, Jersey Royal potatoes trump all others in my opinion (although Charlottes and Marfona come a close second/third), and salads are just so versatile, and synonymous with summer - EXCELLENT suggestions friends! I will do my best to concoct a few peachy/potato-y/salad-y inspired recipes and share them with you over the forthcoming weeks too.

Finally, I neglected to thank you the other week for your book recommendations - I have sought out a couple and will be doing my best to get stuck into them. I also came across author Holly Smale via an article in the paper at the weekend, I now desperately want to read her book ‘The Cassandra complex’ as I feel like Holly speaks my language! Oh, and I’m always VERY happy to receive book recs so you can keep them coming!

My special talent

There are very few things that I consider myself to be good at, however, one thing I seem to have nailed down is ‘thinking’, yes, I’m a professional thinker. 

Now I know we all think, but I believe I take thinking to an extreme… I literally never stop. I think while I write, while I read, while I run, while I eat, while I cook/bake, whilst having a conversation, while I sleep… the internal dialogue just never stops.

Until relatively recently, I didn’t acknowledge my special skill, I thought everyone thought as much as I do… but then I asked a few friends, and family what they were thinking from time to time, and they would reply with, “errrm nothing…” … and it utterly baffled me. How can your brain just be empty for a minute? 

Take this week’s jog as an example. Bear in mind I haven’t run properly for a while due to various niggling injuries, however, on Monday I fancied a little jog - 15 minutes only - so off I trotted down Dukes Drive (a wooded area just outside Chester city centre).

I set off very slowly, this wasn’t about breaking records I thought, ‘just stay in one piece’, the temperature felt nice; there was a gentle breeze, I was in green space - perfect. Just 20 seconds in, I saw a robin, (all robins are my late grandfather, so I had to acknowledge him by saying a polite hello and check he was ok), this felt like a good omen for the rest of the jog. Next I noticed a small Rhododendron which occupied my mind for at least a minute as I contemplated how it was spelt - this mystery remained unresolved and I felt a bit useless for not knowing the answer to my own question, I also thought that Dukes drive could do with a face lift in the form or Rhododendron bushes, I mean, it’s awash with greenery which I love, but a splash of pink and purple would work wonders for it. Whilst in my Rhododendron world, a small dog appeared; since being a dog owner I have become a lot more sympathetic to the fact that the dog is likely to view a fast (or in my case slow) moving object as one of a few things: something to play with, something to fear, or something to nibble at… I therefore gave this little pooch an incredibly wide birth, which resulted in me running through a bed of nettles and tripping over a tree stump… I possibly should have just run past the dog and am now wondering if a) I will suffer an allergic reaction from the nettles, b) may have sprained my ankle on that tree trunk and/or… c) (because I read about this recently), I may have been bitten by a low-lying tick and will now have Lyme disease. Thankfully I’m distracted again, this time by Elderflower… actually, is that elderflower or is it a weed? I’ll ask my friend David when I get back! UH OH… there’s one single lonely magpie - I salute him and say ‘hello Mr Magpie’ but I’m pretty sure I am now doomed for the rest of the run (one for sorrow and all that). I’m back wondering which part of my body is going to start hurting any minute, or whether I may become victim of runners tum (yes this has happened to me before - Google it if you don’t know what I’m on about), I’m also now completely alone and feel a bit vulnerable… like what if I have a heart attack (I now wonder if I’m having a heart attack - like how do you know? I focus at length on whether I can feel my heart), I turn around and start heading back - just in case - and thankfully my thoughts are interrupted by another human/dog sighting - this time I don’t risk life and limb by running through the undergrowth, and instead just give the dog sufficient space hoping it’s not frightened by the rosy faced human who’s shuffling past… I survive the encounter. Other sightings include what I think is a fox - do they come out during the day? - a bird of prey and some really big trees. I am now approaching 15 minutes, and my destination; on reflection I feel this has been quite a positive run… but last time I was foolish enough to think this, I fell flat on my face (during COVID, winded myself and really hurt my wrist… it was v.scary and so I don’t like to be optimistic anymore because you never know what is around the corner). To be safe, I touch wood, my head, then I think that I should find some actual wood, so perform a ninja manoeuvre to go and touch a big old tree trunk - better to be safe than sorry, eh? although god knows what that guy is now thinking of me! Right - 15 minutes DONE, I stop and check my pulse - you know, better make sure my heart’s still in my chest - I think it’s still there so I wander back towards the gym for a quick stretch.

So, you see, thinking is a something I seem to excel at… but it’s also quite a curse.

Whilst some would argue that this level of ‘thinking’ is something to be proud of, that it’s a huge asset and quite a ‘talent’ - particularly when applied to e.g., breaking down the elements of a bake or recipe, I disagree. It makes me worry, it makes me massively over-complicate matters, it’s tiring, it has me overanalysing situations, it robs me of pleasure at times…and it just gets me in a right old pickle. 

Some days my thoughts are very specific and relate to one matter, others, they are broad. This week, I seem to have had a propensity for the latter, and my head has been quite literally flooded with random thoughts… many of which I want to share with you, but frankly, after the story of my run above, we will literally be here for a week, so I will save you from that torture. But for context, here is an abridged version of the matters I have contemplated this week:

• Everyone is judging me… EVERYONE and I’ve upset them, and they hate me. Equally, I’m so different; I think differently, I do things differently, I feel things differently, and when I don’t understand your viewpoint, I think there is something wrong with me, so I distance myself - which is the most toxic horrible trait… but the one I employ to protect myself from feeling uncomfortable, disappointed, or from being let down.

• I want to try so many recipes - I buy ingredients for every single one of the recipes I want to try… all at once, and now I don’t know which to do first, I’m overwhelmed by a full fridge, I feel guilty for overbuying produce and I don’t know how to organise myself such that nothing goes to waste, and all recipes are sampled. Furthermore, I don’t want to get ingredient fatigue - as is sometimes the case with a tub of mascarpone, a jar of Harissa, or a posh chutney, that once opened must be consumed within X days, (refer to my newsletter a few weeks back on this), and therefore I feel obliged to add it to every meal… sweet or savoury. So, I revert to type and just ignore all the possibilities, opting for safety and not breaking into any of the new ingredients… ‘I’ll save them for later.’*

• God I eat some random and weird things when I am alone… half a raw shallot… because it needed eating up (a real low point), egg white omelettes (no not because they’re ‘#health’ but because I really just LIKE THE WHITE), a piece of cheese microwaved for 10 seconds until melted and oozy with fat, shaving slivers off freshly baked bread, or cheese, or cakes, picking the fruit out of granola or a cake or a bread product, freezing my bircher muesli and eating it semi-freddo - I LIKE IT COLD, raw veg (broccoli included), tipping all of the nuts out of a new packet so that I can pick out all the broken bits… I do this with biscuits too.

• There are too many options- for food, to read, to watch, to wear, to decorate my house with, to use in the kitchen, (not that I have the money to afford these things)… my brain feels fried with choice overload.

• Voice notes are scary business - love to receive them, can’t bear leaving them… the thought makes my stomach summersault and my hands sweat.

• Grey days cause me to genuinely contemplate a move to the south of France, or a trip to Denmark, or maybe I could renovate an Italian property (like Amanda and Alan did on that BBC documentary), or drink wine in Portugal. I also might go and eat cheese and chocolate in Switzerland, maybe do a pastry course in one of these countries too… but I’m too scared so I will probably just stay at home and feel grey… like the sky (get out the violin).

• The fragility of planet Earth…

• Sharing more personal stuff on here... but also not sharing too much personal stuff because - well, refer back to bullet point 1 and also what is considered an 'overshare’?

• On Tuesday I didn’t wash… I’m disgusting! Is this an example of oversharing? … Now I’m worrying that bullet point 1 is in full flow.

• I was blessed with a conjoined twin mushroom - is this a ‘sign’ of something great to come or is it just a twin mushroom?

• Social media is a scary place.

• I really love stories about the emotional/historical meaning behind foods and meals… it feels warm and snuggly, like burying myself under a blanket. And you know what, I don’t think I’m alone with this one, I saw Tom Kitchin virtually break down in tears on Master chef as he tucked in to a Malteaser inspired dessert that apparently evoked all sorts of feelings of nostalgia - it did look really great!

• Restaurant desserts are disappearing… and have been since the end of lock down apparently, this saddens me SO much. The matter is discussed in this Guardian article and I feel like I need to start a campaign for desserts to make a comeback!

• I really should share a list of my favourite recipe books - would that be interesting to people? I’m not sure...

*I’m so terribly sorry to admit that this thinking lark got me in a right old stew over what to make and share recipe-wise this week… hence I settled for a range of my staples. You may have seen similar recipes in the Newsletter before, because they are things that I am particularly fond of. I apologise if they are a bit same-y - please blame my internal chatter… and next week I hope to get a bit more creative - I have some cool ideas involving tomatoes (big shout out to the British tomatoes for sending me the most majestic array of tomatoes to celebrate British Tomato fortnight - they are honestly the best tomatoes I have ever eaten - sooooo sweet, cannot wait to chuck them in EVERYTHING!) and berries, (not together)… watch this space.

After all that waffle, I suspect you’re either frazzled, or switched off long ago - I’m sorry… in fact, I’m half contemplating deleting it all because it just sounds a bit ridiculous and I don’t actually know that it’s much use to anyone… but then again, I want to be honest with you… because I hate lying remember?

Right, I’m gonna shut up now and let you try some of this week’s recipes; simple tortilla’s, squishy iced buns, and banana, peanut, chocolate ‘ice cream’… meanwhile, over over on TCC+ you can find my take on the humble Anzac biscuit ; they are the epitome of sweet, buttery, oaty, coconutty HEAVEN!

Let’s get cracking…

Simple tortilla style flatbreads

I really wanted a good ‘mopping’ bread for some hummus and tomato salsa on Thursday… and so these little beauties were born. They are UNBELIEVABLY easy to prepare, so versatile, (you could fill them with all sorts of fabulous stuff), they’re way better than shop bought, and quite honestly divine (if you like bread products I suppose). You could flavour them with a sprinkle of za’atar, dried herbs, or nigella seeds for a pop of flavour if you fancy, but honestly, they taste great just the way they are.

Makes 8

Ingredients

275g Plain flour
1/4 tsp instant yeast
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp sea salt
1 tsp malt extract
75g Whole milk
75g boiling water
2 tbsp (25g) olive oil

Method

Add the yeast to a medium sized bowl and top with the flour, then baking powder, salt, and malt extract. Combine the milk, water and oil in a jug, add to the flour mixture and quickly knead to form a smooth dough. Pop the dough back in the bowl, cover with a damp tea towel and leave to rest for 10 minutes. Then give the dough another knead on the work surface for 2-3 minutes. Return to the bowl, cover with clingfilm, and leave to relax for 2 hours at room temperature.

Once 2 hours have elapsed, divide the dough into 8 chunks (55-60g), shape into approximate balls then roll out to form flat discs approximately 15cm in diameter - dust the surface of the dough with flour to prevent it from sticking to your rolling pin and keep lifting and turning the dough as you roll to create a fairly round shape. Place under a clean tea towel and repeat with the remaining dough - I use a piece of kitchen roll between each disc of dough to keep them separated.

Once all the dough has been rolled out, place a wide, heavy based frying pan over a high heat, then working with one piece of dough at a time, roll out, using more flour, to a diameter of around 20 cm. Place in the hot, dry pan and wait for it to noticeable puff up - around 40-60 seconds. Once puffed up, flip over and cook for a further 40 seconds or until lightly charred. Place on a plate and cover with the clean tea towel before repeating the process with the remaining dough discs.

Serve with your favourite dips, salsas and oils!

ICED BUNS

I’m not quite sure what sparked my sudden *need* to bake an iced bun, but on Sunday morning it become a necessity. And so I set out on a somewhat ridiculous quest to replicate (and hopefully elevate) one of my childhood favourites; a comfortingly soft sweet bun, topped with a generous layer of sticky icing.

Initially I thought it would be a good idea to reinvent the wheel and create a super plush, butter-rich brioche style bun topped with the traditional layer of thick icing, but after a couple of attempts, I realised that the richer dough just didn’t work in this instance… I really craved that plainer doughy comfort. I reverted back to a simpler, soft, squishy bun dough, which instantly transported me back to my youth. This particular dough includes oil in place of butter, (I find this produces a wonderful tender texture and aerated crumb), and is flavoured with a hint of warming vanilla and fresh lemon, yielding a bun that is loaded with cosy comfort from all angles.

I tried both a traditional plain icing to top these buns AND a pink icing, which incorporated some raspberry juice. In all honestly, the raspberry doesn’t impart huge flavour, but the colour is beautiful, and I like that the subtle sharpness cuts through the sweetness a bit. Hope you like these as much as I do!

Ingredients

200g Strong white bread flour
30g T55 White flour or more strong white flour as above
50g Plain flour
Zest of 1 lemon
5g salt
40g Caster sugar
5g Instant dried active yeast
15g Acacia honey
1 tsp vanilla bean paste
75g whole milk room temp
35g water tepid
50g whole egg weight out of shell - approx 1 medium
15g egg yolk approx 1 medium egg yolk
35g Extra Virgin Olive oil

To brush
1 x egg white or 1 whole egg

Icing
150g Icing sugar
4-6 tsp juice* from berries below
50g Raspberries/blackberries – mushed and sieved
*you could also use lemon juice here or just water for a plain icing OR you could omit the icing completely and top with pearl sugar as per pic above.

Method

Measure the flours to the bowl of a stand mixer. Zest the lemon straight into the bowl and roughly toss to combine. Add the sugar and salt to one side of the bowl and the yeast to the other. Next add the honey, vanilla, milk, water, egg, and egg yolk and finally the oil, mix using the dough hook for around 1 minute on medium until just combined - it should resemble a shaggy dough. Cover the bowl with a damp tea towel and allow to autolyse for 20 minutes.

Once autolysed, mix the dough on a medium for 10 minutes scraping down the sides of the bowl once or twice - the mix is quite sticky and wet. After 10 minutes, cover the dough once more with a tea towel and leave the dough to rest for 10 minutes, then mix again on medium speed for around 8 minutes or until full gluten development is achieved - this is when you can stretch the dough and it doesn’t tear - sometimes it can be a bit tricky to tell, another 5-10 minute rest can help relax the dough so that you can check a bit more easily, also dipping your hand in water prevents the dough from sticking to your fingers too much. Once you are happy that the dough is sufficiently kneaded, place in a lightly greased bowl, cover with clingfilm and leave to prove in a warm environment until at least doubled in size - around 90 minutes - 2 hours.

Once proofed, turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface, divide into 9 x 60g chunks of dough. Shape as you wish and place onto a baking sheet lined with parchment, leaving a little space between each bun to allow them to rise. Leave to proof for another 90 minutes to 2 hours or until super puffy.

Preheat the oven to 190C/170C fan. Once proofed, brush the buns with egg wash and bake in the oven for 12 minutes or until puffed up and golden.

Once baked, remove from the oven and transfer to a wire rack to cool fully.

Meanwhile for the icing, prepare the juice by mashing the berries with the back of a fork (you could alternatively give them a quick blitz in a food processor), then pass through a sieve pressing as much of the liquid out as possible - discard the seeds. Next combine the icing sugar and 4 tsp of the fruit juice in a bowl - start with the lesser amount of fruit juice and don’t be tempted to add more until you have thoroughly mixed it together, you may think that I am ridiculous suggesting such a small amount of liquid but it’s alarming how quickly it becomes ‘too loose’ once combined, so start with the lower amount, and add more cautiously. I then like to pipe the icing over the cooled buns and use the back of a spoon to spread it to the edges, alternatively you can just spoon it on and spread with the back of a spoon - dipping the spoon in oil can help you spread it more evenly.

BANANA, CHOC & PEANUT ‘ICE CREAM’

OK, OK… It’s not proper ice cream, it doesn’t use an ice cream maker, it isn’t churned, it doesn’t include a custard base… it’s also not a ‘no churn’ version that includes condensed milk… but it’s cold and creamy and tastes like ice cream so as far as I’m concerned, it’s ice cream.

Banana, peanut, and chocolate are such a winning combo and here they work especially well together. The added bonuses to this recipe are that it is an excellent solution to a bunch of spotty bananas lurking in the fruit bowl (move over banana bread), it’s also a pretty wholesome snack and nothing says summer like ice cream, right?

Ingredients

200g ripe banana frozen
25g chocolate peanut butter or plain peanut butter
10g cocoa powder
20g Oat milk
10g Toasted nuts

Method

Take the banana out of the freezer and allow to thaw for about 5 minutes if they are super hard. Combine the frozen banana, nut butter, cocoa powder, and oat milk in high-speed blender - blend until a thick creamy mixture forms. Scoop into a bowl and serve immediately topped with toasted nuts of your choice - I like hazelnuts or more peanuts.
*you can alternatively pop the mixture into ice lolly/ice cream moulds and return to the freezer until set. Enjoy as and when you desire!

RANDOM EXTRAS

Things that have annoyed me this week

• That lid on soy sauce that you have to remove in order to shake the soy sauce. I mean, I get it, the lid stops sauce escaping when you don’t want it to escape… but also, when you go to grab the sauce from the cupboard and liberally shake onto your stir fry… you have to remove the annoying inner lid, return the outer lid… shake, remove the outer lid return the inner lid (which you have now lost) and eventually return the outer lid… only to realise that you could do with another shake of soy sauce…

• Putting my socks on before putting my leggings on… I’m not sure when this change in routine occurred for me, I was always a leggings, then socks girl… but somewhere something went wrong, and now I keep finding myself in my socks before my leggings. I then spend way longer than I would like wrestling my leggings over my socks.

Stuff that needs acknowledging

• Masterchef - WHAT A FINAL WEEK! I’ve bloomin LOVED this series - the skill of the contestants has been utterly remarkable, and I have loved them all! I have also been totally inspired by some of their creations… will probably forego the chicken dessert though.

• The torn edge bits of ‘tear and share’ breads - they are just SO great! It turns out I’m not alone when it comes to this guilty pleasure - I got a fair few messages from people agreeing with me when I posted a photo on Instagram during the week which I love!

• Wildlife - this week’s episode of ‘wildlife watch’ from my garden/local area includes:
  An utterly stunning woodpecker
  Loads of happy bees on a blue flowering plant - a Ceanothus I believe (see pic below)
  Some stunning roses and poppies.

Some fun stuff

Last night Mum and I went to see Coldplay in Manchester… ok… I’m saying ‘last night’ as by the time you read this, it will be last night… but as I write this, it’s actually tomorrow evening, and thus I’ve lied to you - I’m terribly sorry - I will fill you in on what it is like next week. Side note, I realise this sounds like quite a wild thing for me to do bearing in mind my reluctance to step beyond my comfort zone, plus… loud noise + lots of people = a little bit yuck… so yes it does feel incredibly wild… BUT… 1. It’s COLDPLAY… I have seen them in concert before many years ago… and they’re something a little bit (VERY) special - Chris Martin is such a rockstar. 2. We will arrive late to minimise time spent out of our comfort zone. 3. I want the flashing wrist band… because it’s COOL!

OK… I must shut up! As ever, I’m sending hugs and love to you all.

Steph xxx