#14 Keep your head up

Ooof - I have a little bit of writing inertia going on at the moment, I just feel a bit flat!! Firstly, huge apologies for not sending out a newsletter last weekend - I had actually drafted a little something, but it wasn’t finished - fairly typical for me - and I couldn’t find the energy to ‘refine it’… soooo, you got nothing - poor I know. (Don’t worry though - I am going to include some of what I wrote last week because it was all about Lemon cake -v.important - and a little wedding chat!)

Talking of wedding chat - let’s start there! Despite the magic of watching my best and oldest friend (Harriet) get married last weekend, it’s not been my best couple of weeks if I’m honest - more anxieties and worries have had me a bit pre-occupied and sapped of energy, which has been so frustrating, particularly when I wanted to be thoroughly enjoying the whole wedding experience! Nevertheless, I was honoured to be a part of Harriet (and Andy’s) special day; they looked radiant, the weather was stunning and the overwhelming love in the room on Saturday evening was palpable - simply perfect. More on my little lemon cake project below too! 

Unfortunately, I’ve also experienced another little ‘head spin’ - about life and what the future holds. The problem is, I know my current situation isn’t my ‘true’ destination and when I get all ‘thinky’ over stuff like this, the anxiety and overwhelming thoughts of ‘OMG WHAT ON EARTH AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE’ really spiral out of control.

Fortunately, I had an appointment with my incredible Doctor on Thursday; it was a huge relief to chat to him about some of my worries and it took very little reassurance to put me back in a slightly more positive headspace. The crux of the matter is that I need to be patient, to prioritise and find peace with myself whilst addressing my health issues, only after I have achieved this can I truly look to the future with a clearer perspective. It also goes to show that we should always, always talk to people we trust and feel safe in the company of. So often I will be pessimistic and think it isn’t worth wasting someone’s time (or mine for that matter), or that I may come away feeling worse. The reality is that talking to the right person/people (those who make you feel safe and supported) will generally improve how you feel, so don’t be afraid to talk!

Besides this, I’ve been a bit hit and miss in the kitchen; last week the Commonwealth Games was obviously on - any morsel of focus I usually have was largely usurped by the wall-to wall coverage, needless to say, my kitchen time was minimised! This week, I’ve been back in the groove a bit - pasta, salads, crackers (OF COURSE), roasted plums - served with mini spiced pavlovas from the new book (sorry, I’m mentioning it AGAIN), plum, bay & blackcurrant friands, greek salads, frittatas, and simple bread rolls have been on the menu. It’s been quite delightful.

Also… the beautiful sunshine and warmth has been a huge aid in keeping my chin up as much as possible, I lay on the grass on Wednesday afternoon… and Thursday evening… actually quite a bit this week, and felt a few moments of calm… so I’ll ABSOLUTELY take that.

I’m not going to waffle on too much more as I haven’t got a huge amount more to report, but I hope you are all doing ok… and if not, please stay strong, keep your head up high, keep fighting - there is light up ahead. Take a breather when you need to, reflect on all the little positives, let go of the things that aren’t adding to your life and hold on with hope. Keep going, keep believing, keep shining.

CUTE WHOLEMEAL ROLLS (and the value of buying quality flour)

I wasn’t going give these rolls a mention here because I thought they were a bit same-y… but the reality is that I thought they were blooming fabulous, and since this newsletter is about discovery, comfort and acknowledging life’s simple pleasures, they absolutely have a place.

In my opinion, the excellence of these rolls depends entirely on the quality of the flour. I’m talking exceptionally sourced grains, milled to yield flour of an unrivalled quality and flavour. Here, I used Shipton Mill flour which I adore, but there are other very reputable mills offering a similar standard of flour around the country. I completely understand that these flours can often be higher in price and sometimes a little harder to seek out but the positives absolutely outweigh the negatives - you are helping the planet -The Wildfarmed website is a great resource to learn more about this - you are supporting smaller businesses, and you 100% produce a product that is more nutritionally dense and better in flavour & texture. I will hold my hands up and admit that I’m often a hypocrite and buy my flours in Waitrose when there is a degree of emergency - you know the OMG I HAVE RUN OUT OF FLOUR emergency that you experience day-to-day (lol) - but where possible, I try to be organised and get the good stuff. Anyway… this is what I did…

Ingredients

170g French type 55 white flour -you could use strong white flour here, but I had this and wanted to give it a try
130g Strong Canadian 100% wholemeal flour
1 tsp yeast - approx 4-5g
6g Sea salt
10g runny honey or Malt extract
20ml orange juice
190ml lukewarm water

Method

Combine the flours in a large bowl. Add the yeast to one side of the bowl and the salt to the other, add the honey (or Malt) followed but the orange juice and water. Mix to form a shaggy dough. Leave to autolyse for 20 minutes. Then knead the dough for 10-15 minutes or until smooth and elastic - use a stand mixer if you like. Pop it in a lightly oiled bowl with enough room for it to rise, leave to prove in a warm environment for 90 minutes - 2 hours or until doubled in volume.

Once risen, knock the dough back, divide into 6 equal portions and roll into balls on a lightly floured surface. Place on a lined baking sheet and leave to prove until doubled in size - around 45 minutes - 1 hour.

Meanwhile preheat the oven to 210C/190C fan. Once risen, bake the rolls in the oven for about 20-25 minutes or until golden and sounding hollow when tapped underneath. Leave to cool on a wire rack before halving and filling with your favourite sandwich filling or simply smeared with salty butter/dunked in olive oil!

A VERY BEAN-Y WHOLESOME SALAD

I’m not going to elaborate much on this salad because it’s just great - full of wholesome goodness and bursting with flavour, it really doesn’t need any further discussion but please try it!

Serves 2

Ingredients

60g dried quinoa -
180g Edamame beans
100g Peas
100g Green beans
2 tsp finely chopped fresh tarragon
2 tsp finely chopped fresh basil
1 tsp finely chopped fresh chives
1 tsp finely chopped fresh dill

3 tbsp Olive oil
1 tsp maple syrup
1 garlic clove grated/crushed
1 Tbsp white wine vinegar

Method

Cook the quinoa as per the packet instructions. Leave to cool. Cook the edamame beans, peas and green beans and refresh them under cold water to keep them vibrant. Combine the cooled quinoa and beans/peas in a large bowl, add the chopped herbs. Meanwhile, combine the olive oil, maple syrup, garlic and vinegar in a small bowl or jar, pour over the quinoa/bean mixture and toss to coat.

CAKE PROJECT

If life gives you lemons… or even if it doesn’t… make a lemon cake fit for a Wedding.

The truth of the matter here is that I completely failed in committing to ACTUALLY baking THE wedding cake - you know, tiers, fondant icing, flowers, fruitcake (I was WAY too scared to take it on). Nevertheless, I was desperate to produce a little something for my best friends’ special day. The flavour she ALWAYS requests, if I ask what she fancies, is lemon, so I went with that… and I went ALL in lemon, a lemon-y sponge, doused in lemon syrup, filled with lemon curd, and covered in a zesty lemon & white chocolate butter cream. I’m not going to lie, it felt like a RIGHT little marathon project, but one you too can totally take on with a little pre planning.

Lemon cake

375g Unsalted butter - softened
375g Caster sugar
6 Large eggs room temp
375g Self raising flour
1/4 tsp bicarbonate of soda
Lemon zest from 6 lemons
2 tbsp Lemon juice
1.5 tbsp Milk

Lemon syrup

75ml lemon juice juice of approx 1.5 lemons
75g Caster sugar

Lemon curd

2 large eggs
95g Caster sugar
5g Lemon zest (zest of approx 2 lemons)
95ml Lemon juice (juice of approx 2 lemons - use the ones you have zested above)
50g Unsalted butter

Lemon & White chocolate Swiss meringue buttercream

3 Large egg whites
230g Caster sugar
150g White chocolate - melted and cooled
a scant 1/4 tsp sea salt
1/8 tsp cream of tartar - optional
Zest of 2 lemons
350g Unsalted butter softened

For the Lemon Curd.

Measure the caster sugar, lemon juice, zest and butter into a medium sized bowl. Place the bowl over a pan of barely simmering water and gently stir until the butter has melted. Briefly remove the bowl from the heat, add the eggs stirring all the time then place the bowl back over pan of gently simmering water and continue to cook for around 10 minutes or until creamy, thickened and coating the back of a spoon. Remove the bowl from the heat and allow the curd to cool stirring occasionally. Once almost cooled, transfer to sterilised jars and keep in the fridge until ready to use.

NOTES:

• Curd will keep in the fridge for up to two weeks.

For the Lemon syrup

Combine the caster sugar and lemon juice in a small saucepan. Place over a medium heat stirring until the sugar has dissolved. Then turn up the heat and bring to a simmer. Once simmering remove from the heat and allow to cool.

For the Lemon cake

Preheat the oven to 180C/160C fan. Grease the base and sides of 3 x 8 inch round cake tins. Line the base with baking parchment. Beat the butter, sugar & lemon zest on a medium speed until pale and fluffy. With the mixer still running, add the eggs incrementally, beating well between each addition. Once all of the egg has been incorporated, carefully fold in the flour & bicarb in 2-3 additions. Finally add the lemon juice and milk. Distribute the batter evenly between the prepared cake tins and bake in the oven for 25-28 minutes. Once baked, allow to cool for 5 minutes in the tins before turning out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

For the Lemon & white chocolate Swiss meringue Buttercream

Combine the egg whites, salt, optional cream of tartar and caster sugar in a heatproof bowl placed over a pan containing an inch of barely simmering water - make sure the base of the bowl is not touching the water. Heat the mixture, gently stirring, until the sugar has dissolved - the temperature should reach approx 72C on a digital thermometer.

Remove the bowl from the heat and use an electric mixer to whisk on a high speed until the bowl is cool to the touch and a thick glossy meringue has formed - around 10 minutes. Once cooled, to room temperature, add the butter approximately 1 tbsp at a time, whisking well between each addition.

Once all the butter has been added, add the lemon zest and briefly whisk to incorporate, then switch the whisk attachment for a metal beater and beat the mixture until smooth and creamy - a couple of minutes. Finally - with the mixture running on a low speed, gradually pour in the cooled melted white chocolate mixing until just combined. Cover and set aside until ready to assemble.

NOTES:

• Swiss meringue buttercream can be a little pesky to get right so take a read of this article from cake guru Stella Parks - she has got you covered!

To assemble.

Level each cake by trimming any domed tops with a sharp knife or cake leveller. Brush the tops of each cake with a liberal coat of lemon syrup - approx 2 tbsp per cake, you should end up using it all. Next place your first cake layer on a cake board, pipe a ‘dam’ of buttercream around the circumference of the cake and fill the centre with a few spoonfuls of curd then pipe more buttercream on top to cover and gently spread with a palette knife to create an even surface. Add the next cake layer and repeat. Finally add the last cake, flipping it so that the base becomes the top (neat, flat top tip!!). Coat the top and sides of the cake in a thin layer of buttercream. Refrigerate for around 30-45 minutes or until slighter firmer before applying a top coat. Decorate with flowers, crystallised rose petals, piped buttercream, candied or dried lemon slices, sprigs of herbs and vibrant pistachios if you have some lying around - go as wild as you like.

EXTRAS:

• BIG QUESTION… is it appropriate for people to be discussing Christmas ALREADY… surely not? I really can’t face the reality of winter right now!!

• Malibu Rising - the book I mentioned - I can confirm that I’m 200 pages in (slow reader sorry), I think it’s a lovely little wholesome, feel good read - would be perfect for a holiday!

• You may have seen that I made some little Friand cakes earlier in the week - Plum, blackberry and bay. They were based on an Ottolenghi recipe - OF COURSE - in his book Simple but also here. I halved this recipe, followed the method as suggested, and portioned the batter into 6 greased cupcake tin holes. I baked them at the suggested temperature for around 25 minutes. The resulting cakes were a bit on the ugly side but they tasted PHENOMENAL and were perfect comfort cake food - especially when served with a little crème anglaise!!

• The Smoky pink kraut from Eaten alive - it is NEXT level - I thoroughly recommend it.. along with their Kimchis and fermented sauces - everything Eaten alive is fabulous IMO… plus you have all that goodness to help your gut which I AM HERE FOR!

• Top tip from Alexandra Dudley re. Greek salads - crumble a little feta into your olive oil/oregano dressing and mash it around a bit with some onion to infuse the oil - it really enhances the flavour.

• Gooseberries & cold crème anglaise: Ok this sounds a bit niche but bear with me - gooseberries don’t get enough attention I don’t think, admittedly they can be a bit tart eaten ‘au natural’ but… add a little golden caster sugar, a drop of Elderflower cordial (Belvoir is my fave brand), and cook them down until they become almost jammy, and you have something pretty special. Gooseberries are generally at their best in July I believe but I have managed to pick up a few punnets in Waitrose in the last couple of weeks and they have been marvellous. In terms of the creme anglaise (proper custard) - it’s a bit of a tricky one to master I have found - it doesn’t like sudden or extreme heat changes… and for someone who gets a little impatient, this can be an issue! Nevertheless, if you follow the fairly simple rules, it is wonderful - like you can really drink this stuff so it’s worth mastering… or getting wrong 15,000 times before you nail it! I made it this week as I had some yolks that needed using up, I enjoyed it cold and drizzled over the gooseberries - D-LISH-US! (I have found a couple of recipes here & here)- as you can see, there is quite a big variation in quantities of the key components but both work - one is obviously richer than the other. The cooking temperature you are aiming for is between 70C & 83C and the mixture should coat the back of a spoon.

• Erica Kennedy - Ok this is my final but most important ‘EXTRA’ - I learnt about Erica whilst watching the European championships on Friday - she is a GB rower. Erica was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, she was interviewed about her diagnosis and oh my goodness, what an incredible woman she is. She talked about the fact that she felt she needed to document her experience to help people realise that these sort of diagnoses, as rare as they are, should not be something we approach with fear, instead, she highlights the importance of early detection and of living life ‘joyfully’ in spite of a diagnosis. Remarkably, Erica is still training and competing, albeit with a view to potentially needing to take a ‘sabbatical’ from the sport in order to properly help her body recover in the next few months. As someone who suffers with chronic health anxiety at times, hearing Erica’s unbelievable positivity, bravery and strength in the face of adversity was a huge help - she is a true inspiration. Read more of her story here… and this is her insta

OK, I’m done. I do hope we are all ok, sending huge hugs out to you all.

Lots of Love,

Steph x