You know those people who moan all the time? There’s always some sort of catastrophe or chaos in their lives? When you ask how they are, you get an elaborate story that generally involves some level of D-RAMA.
Hi! That’s me!! I don’t mean to be moany, but I am. The problem is that if you ask how I am, I will be honest, very honest. The honesty sometimes takes a moment to consider and construct –I must truly work out how I am. I end up detailing the various body parts that are causing me concern, the encounter I had at the co-op or gym that I’m now cursing myself over for handling ‘oh so badly’, or the cake I think I’ve failed at… and the precise reasons why.
I’ve sort of learnt that ‘fine’ is the answer I’m meant to give… but I try that sometimes and then (because I’m lying) I don’t know where I go from there… so I inevitably end up scuttling down moan-alley filling the void of silence, and once I’ve started, back-tracking is tricky. A cognitive behavioural therapist would probably argue that I should reframe these thoughts, and everything would feel better… but I’ve tried that, and I often conclude that my moan is backed by more robust evidence (usually past experience).
So yes, I’m a: moany, often miserable, and definitely anxious creature. I’m not proud of myself, in fact, I feel huge guilt for being this way… but it’s me, and this week I have a comprehensive list of moans to share with you… so comforting, I know!!
You may have seen over on Instagram that on Saturday I experienced a coffee catastrophe of epic proportions. I’m Queen of clumsy so it’s really no surprise when these things happen and yet every time, it’s a shock that leaves me a). cursing myself and b). Devastated by the destruction. I should also add that I tend to approach things stupidly, I’ll leave things without their lids on, I’ll balance things on ledges or uneven surfaces, I’ll try to carry 15 cups at once, or I’ll use my knee/foot/head to try to steady stuff. I’ve found these strategies to be highly ineffective and yet I still use them at will.
Anyway, a freshly prepared perfectly brewed (froth on top) cup of coffee somehow ended up all over the work top. Just to make matters worse, I tried to save it mid topple and showered it up the walls (I have subsequently found that it also seeped into the wine rack and cereal cupboard – this revelation came a few days later). It was all very messy, and sweary and I felt stupid. I also had to overcome the grief of losing my beloved coffee. RIP!I had the best DEEPEST night’s sleep on Tuesday night, then woke up feeling like it must be bedtime already. I spent the day wondering how a good sleep had left me more tired than ever…
… the answer became clear later that evening, when a sore throat appeared from NOWHERE (I ate my dinner: chilli, grains, and yoghurt with veg, followed by berries and yoghurt, then I’m sat doing a crossword and BAM… sore throat). I subsequently had one of those very exhausting, very frustrating UN-SLEEPY nights - filled with the need to constantly swallow - which made me very thirsty – and an embarrassing amount of lonely whimpering and sniffling – I am a mature & sophisticated adult - NOT!
NOT A MOAN: I’ve eaten half a jar of honey since Wednesday evening (honey is an elixir for all ills right?) and subsequently feel like Winnie the Pooh which is really very wonderful, and honeydew melon never tasted better - cold, wet, sweet - JOY.
I also have a sore back – I think it’s from sitting too much but then I get sore legs from standing too much. Must find the happy medium.
It’s sodding FREEZING at the moment. Yes, there has been sunshine, I’ll take that – very nice, thank you, but PLEASE gimme a bit of warmth… wait, I should clarify, I want the sun and the warm. Is that greedy?
Why is there a nipple-y bit at the bottom of a kitchen aid bowl? I hate not being able to seamlessly scoop cake batter from the base of the bowl. I’m sure there is a technical answer here, but it will always irritate me.
Christ I really am moany, I should stop now….
… actually, I’ve just thought of some non-moany, comfort nuggets from this week (which is fortunate given the premise of this newsletter), so let’s finish with them shall we?
The azaleas in our garden - I’m sad that I haven’t been outside much to fully appreciate them (refer back to point 6 - it’s sodding freezing), BUT I do love looking out onto so much colour in the garden.
Made loads of lush bread in the past week or so: bagels, challah, ficelle, & seedy rolls - I shape them slightly differently here but same recipe. Bread is life.
This week’s recipe is all about coffee - seemed appropriate given the carnage on Saturday. It’s a caramel-y, coffee-y, number - think caramel latte - a simple little weekend bake that is full of comfort - recipe below.
Finally, I saw this post from Letitia Clarke on Instagram (I’m so inspired by her culinary journey and joy for food - I just love everything about her - including her new book!!). As a chronic perfectionist, this post resonates with me so much - my favourite line and my quote for this week is from her friend Luigi who says, ‘la bellezza dei difetti’, meaning the beauty of imperfections. And that’s just it isn’t it? Beauty is imperfect… we must embrace imperfections.
On that note, I’m going to shut up and leave you with the recipe for these caramel latte cupcakes (plus a lengthy tale of how I formulated the recipe).
I hope you’re all doing ok, and, as always, sending so much love,
Steph X X X
Caramel Latte cupcakes
These cakes come with quite the tale... a tale you probably don’t need to hear… but you’re going to hear it now, because I’ve planted the seed.
Having experienced coffee-gate on Saturday, you’d have thought I’d be sick of the stuff. Paradoxically, it became my focus.
I decided I wanted to cake-ify my coffee (cake is my current baking fixation). Dissatisfied with the idea of just coffee, I concluded that caramel would be a sensible addition… and it needed something light, lush, and creamy on top – think caramel latte vibes.
In my head this seemed simple but as is often the way with me, I managed to complicate matters as follows:
It took 3 attempts for me to perfect the coffee flavour of the sponge despite having made a coffee sponge before (where I encountered a similarly distressing conundrum). Naturally, I ended up virtually back at my original recipe which was a lesson in having confidence in myself and not believing that I would be able to reinvent the wheel 2 years after my first attempt.
… whilst making batch 2 of said sponge batter, my level of incompetence once again became apparent. As I came to add the flour to the batter, I lifted the mixer head, saw that there was a considerable portion of batter feebly clinging to the beater, and still believed that I’d be safe to remove the bowl and add the flour before gravity stepped in. Obviously I wasn’t quick enough (I never would have been) and the next thing I know, there’s batter in places it shouldn’t be – namely all over the stand of the mixer, hideous. A person with half a brain would have scooped this up with a spoon… in panic I went in with my hands and Lordy what a mess. Somehow the batter came together reasonably well, and the cakes baked nicely, although I also massively overfilled the paper cases and ended up with cake-carnage 2.0 – hence the need for a 3rd attempt. One day I will learn from my mistakes.
The caramel also took 3 attempts… I slightly overcooked the first batch – tried to convince myself it didn’t have a bitter burny taste by sampling a lot of it… the reality is that it had a bitter burny taste. So, I went in for round 2. This time was a burn-free zone, but I realised the quantity was WAY too much for 11/12 cupcakes. I’m relieved to report that batch 3 was the definition of Goldilocks caramel, not burny, not a swimming pool of it – thank GOD for that.
The frosting – so you may have gathered that I have a soft spot for cream-based frostings. However, they’re famously unruly at times, so I flip-flopped around with various ideas from standard buttercreams (American or Swiss) to whipped ganache’s. After some disastrous failures, including an overwhipped ganache that broke my heart because it tasted really good, I fell back on a simple coffee and brown sugar whipped cream. Ok so it’s not the most stable frosting and it doesn’t keep as well as your standard buttercreams BUT it’s just perfect – light and whippy like soft scoop ice cream (I could eat it alone), and barely sweet which is perfect paired with the caramel and coffee sponge. I also suggest adding a drop of milk to the cream before whipping – this is a top tip to mitigate against the risk of cream overwhippage (a lesson I learnt from Nicola lamb).
**This is also perfect proof that sometimes simple is best**
If you’re still awake, thanks for sticking with me, if not… you don’t need to read that tome, just go ahead and make a batch of these, you’ll thank me later.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to The Comfort Chronicles to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.