I was going to start this first newsletter of the New Year with the usual pleasantries “Happy New Year”, “hope you had a wonderful Christmas”. Then I remembered how strangely meaningless I find these remarks. *
So instead, I choose to kick off the New Year with a bit of real-talk, and a round-up of my underwhelming Xmas and slightly anxious disposition as we roll into another new year.
*If I have already engaged in said polite conversation with you, I obviously DO hope you had a nice Christmas and have a wonderful year ahead. I just would ideally like to talk more in specifics – I want to know ALL about your Xmas and your grand plans for world brilliance in 2024… and for that we probably need a few hours over some good tea or coffee, know what I mean?
My Christmas was fine… not good, not dire, but tolerable. It was Mum and I, the dog, and the cat. In many ways this was perfect for us but also it felt a bit lonely and sad and even though I find people-ing hard work a lot of the time, I still felt a bit left out and so I cried most days.
When I wasn’t flooding the house with eye juice, I did 1 puzzle and around 5,000 crosswords. Baked approximately eleventy-five loaves of bread as well as the odd pudding and cakes and biscuits… because baking is my zen.
I spent around a week (make that 2) believing that I had given Mum and I food poisoning. Even though our Christmas bird was sufficiently roasted, came out deep and crisp and even, and absolutely WAS cooked according to its clear juices and internal temperature, I still managed to convince myself that the slightly slimy forkful I shovelled into my mouth halfway through my Christmas dinner was undercooked. I have since been nervously anticipating the effects of having eaten raw chicken.
I spent new years’ eve making beef and lentil Lasagne (and panettone bread and butter pudding… you must try it btw, it’s wicked – see below) interspersed with a walk and some good coffee. I subsequently ate said glorious food before retiring to the sofa for the evening and feeling very satisfied with my life choices.
I then ate leftover lasagne on New Year’s day because I read that in Italian culture, lentils symbolize prosperity. Traditionally, lentils are eaten just after the stroke of midnight and the more you eat the more the new year will be filled with wealth, luck, and abundance. Naturally, I saw this as my sign to eat a lorry load of them on New years day!
… I have realised that the only alcohol I can tolerate without ill-effect (aka like feeling rotten the next day after as little as a whiff of the stuff) is champagne… fortunately I’m pleasantly tipsy on half a glass so I’m not entirely high maintenance.
I genuinely thought the world was ending one night the week before last as the rain and wind battered down on our house. I’ve never heard noises like it, and, as we all know, the world becomes Narnia in the middle of the night so anything is possible. In my defence, my fear was vaguely justified as there was a tornado (A TORNADO) reported just down the road from us (ok 45 miles away but that’s just down the road, right?)
Tuesday marked 2-years since my wonderful Dad died. You know they say that time heals, and that grief diminishes as the days pass? I just haven’t found this. Not a day goes by without me thinking of him and some days feel more painful than ever; I want to speak to him and ask his advice and I really want a hug. I know that he would hate for me to be so sad though, so I’m doing my best to be brave, and make him proud, knowing that he’s by my side (probably clutching a beer) in everything I do.
I find the start of a new year particularly unnerving. Uncertainty is my biggest worry worm, but I also find the prospect of 365 (make that 366 this year) whole empty days looming ahead raises a multitude of practical AND existential dilemmas for my little brain to assimilate. I just feel on edge for most of January.
For this reason, I will not be new year’s resolution-ing and I certainly will not be amending my lifestyle just because it’s a new year. Instead, I’ll be doing my best to remember that it’s just more days with a different number at the end of their ‘name’ and I will not be sapping all joy from said days by removing stuff or adding new pressures.
…I do however plan to carry out some low-key brain housekeeping… I have POST-ITS (not actual post-it’s I should add because OMG THEY COST £14.99 for a small block of them, I have value post-its) and a SHARPIE and I’m ready to transfer some of my brain to paper in the hope that it may free up space for more ground-breaking thinking to occur.
As I mentioned above, this week’s foodie number is just the comfort bowl we need to carry us through the grime of January. It also makes good use of leftovers AND showcases seasonal citrus flavours. My Panettone bread and butter pudding is another recipe dredged from the family archives, I’ll go into a bit more detail below but, in the words of Queen Mary Berry, it’s a bit of all-right! Next week I’m super excited to be sharing my new favourite lemon & vanilla loaf cake recipe with you – I can’t tell you how obsessed I am with it… and after that, I have some fun ideas including plenty of chocolate and bread and maybe a pancake… it’s a feast!
OK, that’s it from me,
Hope you’re all doing ok, love and hugs! X X X
Panettone & Marmalade Bread and butter pudding
This recipe for bread and butter pudding comes from my great nana Rosies’ recipe archive. I may have told you this before but my Mum’s grandma, (Nana Rosie), was the model housewife. She cleaned, cooked, shopped, read her bible, and adoringly looked after her grandchild. Unfortunately, I only knew her for a few years before she passed away, but to this day her legend lives on through some of her no-fuss tasty recipes. Her bread and butter pudding is no exception, there’s nothing fancy about it at all, it makes use of leftovers and just a few store cupboard staples which I LOVE.
Over the years I’ve experimented with ratios of cream and egg yolks in the custard as well as cooking it in a water bath to ‘improve’ the texture and flavour… but I always come back to Rosie’s basic formula using predominantly milk for the custard, giving it a decent soak, and then chucking it straight in the oven to bake. I’m sure chefs would argue that the custard could be richer and more velvety, but in my eyes, this uncomplicated version prevails.
Ok so I’ve used panettone here because I had some leftover from Xmas, and I’ve added smear of marmalade for extra flavour (this is a gamechanger honestly), but essentially Nana Rosie’s basic principle just WORKS.
The whole affair is pleasingly rudimentary and as such perfectly comforting; butter and marmalade your bread, soak it in a milky, egg custard for about an hour and bake for around 35 minutes until puffed up and golden. It’s ethereally light (almost souffle-esque), yet still rich and comforting, honestly, it’s so good – hope you like it!
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