Hey lovely people,
OK so, remember a few weeks back, I told you that I was struggling and that I needed to take a bit of a step back? And briefly, I did just that… but then I felt guilty for not ‘showing up’, and some days I didn’t feel so bad, which made it feel easier to write and bake and live, so I crawled back into your inboxes each Sunday morning with a weekly round-up and a bunch of recipes – the outcome of tinkering around my kitchen each day.
The problem is, I’m still not ‘fixed’, in fact, due to waiting lists etc, I’m only really encountering operation ‘get fixed’ in the next couple of months, and right now, I’m still very much in pickle-fordshire. So much so, that this week I’ve had multiple meltdowns, (one on the physio’s table – is it a table, or a bed? Bed sounds wrong, you know what I mean! It wasn’t cute), I’ve been unthinkably tired from the stress of just existing, and I’ve cried A LOT… every day (at one point, I even Googled whether you can become dehydrated from crying, as far as I can tell, you can’t).
Unfortunately, whilst this newsletter has been a huge lifeline and a passion, it is also one of a few triggers for me right now. I so DESPERATELY want to be able to provide some useful and engaging content for you, to share the things that I love, and to help spread a bit of positivity/comfort… but right now, I’m totally drained mentally and physically, and I really *need* to ease the pressures on myself. I feel like SUCH a waste of space and a failure and that I’m letting you all down, but I also can’t bear to give less than 100%, and right now, I just can’t give that.
Echoing what I said a few weeks back, I will continue to post a recipe for paid subscribers each Sunday in recognition of your kindness and support. There is also the comprehensive recipe index where you can find past recipes/material (I need to update it with the past few weeks and will try to get this done ASAP!).
I know we’ve been here before, and I’m conscious that I just sound overly dramatic, and selfish… and like a total attention seeker (I don’t expect pity or attention AT ALL, you know that), but like I said, I don’t want to be sending out shoddy newsletters, and I just really need to look after myself right now.
This weeks’ TCC+ recipe (below) is for one of my go-to feel-better bakes, Granola. This specific granola recipe is the kind that becomes your ‘House granola’, the one you bake week in, week out to keep you going. It’s also kind-of autumnal and warming, absurdly moreish (in a good way), very adaptable, and you can ‘eat it as you go’ (which I love) - it’s also pretty nourishing which is always a win! I hope you like it!
One final thing, I just want to thank you all again for being so great. I’m not sure you realise how unbelievably grateful I am to each and every one of you for your continued support and kindness, it means so much, particularly when times are tough. So yeah, thank you, and loads of love! X X X
‘House’ Granola
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