#136 Hot Cross Millionaire's shortbread

I don’t like starting a newsletter with serious chat… but you’ve given me no choice, so, you only have yourselves to blame…

…I owe you all the most heartfelt thanks. Having (pitifully) asked (begged), last week, for your ‘likes’ and ‘shares’, for these silly little newsletters I write, you have overwhelmingly delivered, (*on this, I sense that we share the same perfectionist mentality over here, which makes me doubly happy because I feel we’re on the same wavelength… we are ONE!). I have been inundated with warmth and lovely messages (my inbox is rammed because I get a notification for each and every ‘like’ - I know I can turn this function off, but I love to see them, ok?) … And I hate to sound like a broken record, but your unending support means so so much, not sure what I’ve done to deserve it.

If you continue to enjoy what you read, I will cheekily ask that you keep thumping the ‘like’ button and as I’ve said before, spread the TCC ‘word’ as far and wide as you think it will be appreciated. I love love love this space, I love to share my passion for (obsession with) baking and food in general, my somewhat dysfunctional life-diary and any nuggets of wisdom I learn as I wobble through life, one tip toe at a time… your support makes this all possible and I’m eternally grateful for it.

OK, onto the week…

… So, I’ve discovered that I’m not only fairly useless at multi-tasking, but also quite shocking at multi-doing (there’s a difference).

As you may recall, I have had family visiting this week, which has been wonderful, life affirming, phone-put-down-able JOY - I do recommend it - however, as soon as I have a plan in my schedule that deviates from the humdrum norm, I’m overwhelmingly befuddled.

I’m sure I’ve told you this before so forgive me if I’m repeating myself, but in the days that precede ANY ‘event’ (big or small) I have a lead-in anxiety period that involves a crescendo of spiralling angst about how I will cope - with the upset to my tried-and-tested ‘life formula’, with the engaging, with the saying and doing the right things, with wearing actual clothes, not food strewn gym kit… with.it.all. Once I have indeed coped with (and in this case thoroughly enjoyed) the moment, there is then a recovery period - usually a few days, where I have to decompress, I feel so exhausted by my self-inflicted fizziness, that I have to hibernate and recharge… I’m basically an iPhone, but my charging time is 2-3 days, not a few hours.

Whilst this itself is pretty draining, what’s doubly annoying is that all other activities feel harder, slower, more dysfunctional… I’ve walked around the house in ever decreasing circles for the entire week, I feel like I’m in a daze, a vacuum… why am I like thisssss???

All this is to say that I’ve invested a lot of energy in people-ing this week, and everything I have accomplished has taken SO long, like REALLY long, I’ve been operating in the slowest of slow-mo’s!

Thus, I’m only now, (it’s 7am on Saturday, I’m cradling my first coffee of the day, and being serenaded by the birds outside), starting to tap a little note to you! For someone who likes to be ‘early’, never just ‘on time’, this feels uncomfortably ‘late' in the day’ (I did just cry a bit) and thus, I’m warning you now that this newsie may seem a bit uninspired, flat, ‘middling’… a 5.5, maybe a 6, out of 10, which actually makes my heart break a bit because we work to 11/10 over here, ya know?

That being said, I’ve, of course, collected notes from the week that I’m desperate to share with you, so, here goes:

• I have just come up with a ‘not New Year’s resolution’… to write more down, not just tap things into the ‘notes’ app on my phone, not just photo or screenshot things, and not expect to ‘just’ remember something (because, spoiler alert, I don’t remember every little teeny, tiny detail, which is especially important when developing recipes!!). No, I endeavour to find a working pen (biro is my preference) learn to use it again (yikes) and ACTUALLY WRITE STUFF DOWN… recipes, little thoughts I want to share with you, or that I need to remember, lists, also when to take pills (I forgot this recently which was annoying, and I seem to have become desensitised to reminders and alarms on my phone because it’s always shouting at me about something!). I sense that the physical act of writing, cements things more firmly in my brain, it’s also useful to remember how to write from time to time, don’t you think? So yes, I will be using my beautiful calendar, and my PUKKA notepad, and biro in hand, aim to scribble more often.

• I’m desperately trying to embrace this notion of chasing slow pleasures… morning walks are unrivalled at this time of year, reading old books (slowly) is a delicious pastime, listening to music (especially the good old stuff from my youth), spending time with people who make me forget to check my phone (bliss), cooking for pleasure and comfort, collecting little lovely moments; impromptu belly laughs, sunsets, the chirpy birds and new blossom… the beauty everywhere. This is another gentle reminder, to myself, and you too, that there is no sense in putting pressure on oneself, the little things are fun things, and they add up to equal big things, surviving is thriving, we’re doing great and it’s all enough!

• Feasting… oh my goodness, I said I’ve been on a go slow this week and that’s painfully been the case, BUT somehow, in this slow time, I’ve experienced some truly wonderful baking/foodie, breakthroughs. And, oh my goodness, it never ceases to amaze me quite how much these little moments bring me joy. On Sunday I made some wicked choc, oat, tahini energy balls, (necessary after another early rise for the F1), I froze them, which makes them become ultra fudgy, and I’ve been squirrelling away at them all week! On Monday I made cheese scones and I still haven’t stopped banging on about them (I HAVE to share these with you at some point, fluffy, cheesy, buttery - GOOOD!) … Tuesday, a pesto swirl bread (reminds me of one I used to get from M&S way back in the day, love a nostalgia bake), Wednesday (for our guests) my best hummus yet and a gluten free chocolate cake that was fudgy, moist, yet light… surprisingly super and I’m smiling as I write this because it’s all bought me endless joy!

  

  

  

  Feasting FUN...

• …whilst we’re talking about feasting… We're entering peak ‘Easter food’ season and I’m SO excited to share the first of my little series of Easter-y recipes with you… we kick off today, with a Hot Cross Millionaire’s shortbread extravaganza that is wild beyond your dreams - like everything you want in one Easter treat, fruit, spice, zest, chocolate… SAY.NO.MORE. Also, I was THRILLED to see that millionaire’s shortbread has recently been featured in the Wall Street Journal courtesy of a Rav Gill recipe… so it feels suitably esteemed and ‘de rigueur’ at the moment, which makes me feel ‘cool’, you know?

  

  So many fabulous things in one thing...

• … just for balance (because I’m conscious that I sounded like a pompous prat above with all this… ‘look what I made’ - not intentionally being boastful, by the way, I genuinely am shocked when something turns out well, have to stand back and marvel at the wizardry, and want you to be a part of the excitement!), this week, I also: added WAY too much water to some granary bread dough which meant I had a mega soupy situation - remarkably wasn’t a total car crash, but annoying - made a coconut cake that, at various stages, made me super angry (needless to say, it didn’t turn out well) and cried into a bowl of not-that-mango-y- mango curd, so ya know, it’s not all rainbows and butterflies.

• … one more foodie note: the climax of Great British Menu has been SUPERB this week, I love to see people with the same passion for food as I have (obviously they’re a million times more talented but I feel their enthusiasm!), demonstrate their skill and brilliance, such an inspirational bunch (also LOVE Andi Oliver!)

• Also… v.weird… I’ve been having the most HORRIFYING, recurring nightmare that I’m eating raw chicken, and even writing it down makes me shudder - textural purgatory - also intrigued to know what this would mean to a dream interpreter?

• So much sunshine - I feel too lucky with the weather at the moment, so many kisses in the sky, so much new life, colour, and brightness… oh please make it stay forever!!!

• Finally… the sincerest Happy Mother’s Day to all the incredible, fabulous Mum’s out there… including those no longer with us, you’re utterly astonishing… and especially to my Mum, my bestest, my rock, my World - thank you for being perfect!

Right, I think you’ve heard enough from me, I do hope you are all doing OK? Tell me your news, big or small? I love to hear it!

Sending endless love and hugs as always,

Steph X X X

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Hot Cross Millionaire’s shortbread

Ok, I’m not going to harp on too much about this one, you just have to make it, ok?

But let’s quickly break it down for you, first up is a layer of my classic buttery, crunchy, shortbread, here delicately spiced with mixed spice and cinnamon for that definitive hot cross bun flavour. Next up is a decadent layer of rich, buttery caramel, studded with dried fruit and citrus zest for more of the iconic ‘hot cross’ character. A veil of milk chocolate sits on top yielding a perfect symphony of flavour and texture.

I’ve worked hard on this recipe, tinkering with things to make it my version of perfect… sure, it’s a bit of a project but it’s so worth it, a little Sunday-bake maybe? The shortbread layer is a doddle to prepare (I suggest in a food processor for ultimate ease). The caramel does pose a bit more risk (and fear, HOT SUGAR), particularly if you haven’t made proper buttery, indulgent caramel from scratch before, but once you master it, you’ll never buy another caramel again. As for the chocolate layer, melt pour, spread, add a white choc cross for aesthetic purposes and DONE!

Not sure what you’re waiting for… GO GO GO!!!