#133 Citrus Custard Tart
plus some other low-stress suggestions for when life gives you lemons (and hurls half a box of eggs at you)!
Sometimes life gives you lemons, other times it hurls eggs at you, and I’m telling you now, the former are much less messy.
I know this to be the case because two eggs somersaulted from height out of the cupboard on Sunday morning (I swear they were aimed at my head and that someone was stood above me, lobbing them at the time) and bounced off every shelf on their way down to demonstrate their true mess-making abilities. It was really quite something… a ‘TA DAAA’ moment for the eggs. I wasn’t applauding. (In case it wasn’t obvious, lemons would have been considerably LESS dramatic).
To add insult to injury, another rogue egg (acquired for the cake I was trying to make) toppled off the work top and onto the floor behind me as I was attending to round one of egg carnage (a real, ‘you can’t be serious’ moment). So, I spent the early hours of Sunday morning trying to clear up an eggy swamp (impossible, by the way, also heartbreaking to witness egg yolk slowly seeping into the joins between the cupboards of one’s new kitchen).
And this really depicts the mood at the start of the week... sort of ‘unsettled’.
The sun was shining, spring was in the air, it was bright, glowy, the birds were rehearsing their best tunes, the crocuses (Wait, is it Crocuses or Croci - someone correct me?) were looking regal, there were even glimpses of early blossom – it was magical, but I didn’t feel it … I’m so ashamed to admit it - particularly so because you’ve all been so supportive of my improved mood - but I was wobbling (so soon already! HOW?).
Nasty little bad thoughts had burrowed into my brain in the days preceding egg-gate. As ever, they were uninvited, they appeared from nowhere and quickly made themselves at home.
I went from vaguely serene and ‘in control’ a couple of weeks prior, to spiralling… catastrophe was absolutely, definitely, everywhere, it was imperative that I salute all lone magpies (must rule out any bad luck), I felt a bit lonely, panicky about my ‘non-career’, my failure to grasp life. I simultaneously felt a doomy malaise about the state of the universe, and an unease about my still-sore-toe that had been sore for a while without explanation for its soreness.
I was back in that slightly pitiful state of feeling like I was being chased by a lion… constant nervous tummy butterflies.
So, on Wednesday afternoon I put on my old ‘I feel safe and cosy’ Patagonia fleece (the one we’ve discussed posts passim, with the singed cuff, do you remember it?) and went for a big old sunshine-filled walk… so big that my legs ached a LOT afterwards.
I returned home with a new spatula (to replace the one I set fire to in the microwave - oops), some colourful fruity bits from M&S and a resolve to revel in my best comfort ‘cures’, to also not hide from humans (they actually help one feel better sometimes, who knew?), and to repeatedly tell myself that everything was going to be ok (cue my favourite quote from Sonny in The best Exotic Marigold hotel: Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, it is not yet the end)
I stuffed dates with peanut butter and dunked them in puddles of chocolate (a weekly occurrence of late) - mostly so I could lick the spoon and my fingers and feel momentarily childlike and zen. I baked bread because the smell of bread baking is the finest form of aromatherapy and eating it makes you feel 110% better. I also made jam doughnuts, my childhood comfort favourite- more on that next week, I think. And biscuits, a chocolate cake, and most excitingly, (resourceful too given the aforementioned lemon-y, eggy grenades I’ve faced this week), a zingy, rich-but-also-light-and-fresh, citrus custard tart (recipe for that in a moment - keep scrolling if that’s what you’re here for).
I sat outside in the sunshine at lunchtime. I read a bit more, and screen-timed a bit less (just finished the latest Bridget Jones’ novel and I want Mr Wallaker in my life). I let my eyes feast on beautiful things… (trees and cathedrals are jaw-dropping, don’t you think?). I acknowledged every sip of my morning coffee, my bath was comically bubbly (happiness), I found some ribbon to fiddle with (fiddle-material is my ultimate comfort, although I’ve been jabbing the edges into the side of my finger and it’s starting to get sore - should probably stop doing this) and I made a conscious effort to not shovel food into my mouth too quickly - I was channelling my inner Mary (Berry) who would never shovel, would she?
This all sounds hopelessly hippy now I’m saying it all ‘out loud’, and truthfully, the weird, ‘everything is unnerving me’ feeling hasn’t evaporated… but I’d say things feel maybe 19% less bad. So that’s good, isn’t it? I think it is!
Other Sweet Morsels
Seeing Sally Abé smash it on Great British Menu this week - I really have been so inspired by Sally’s work, I must read her book, come to think of it! I cannot wait to see how she gets on in the rest of the comp.
Formula 1 friends how deep into Drive to survive are we? I’m gripped already!
Live athletics has been on since Thursday… sport is my ultimate form of background entertainment!
Friends. Family. Strangers… (and dogs/cats).
Who’s been watching Pottery Throwdown? I’m not sure I can cope with the anxiety of the final episode tonight!
Right, I’m sorry to say that I don’t have much more to add this week… words seem harder to come by when I feel wobbly.
So, I’m sending a hug to you all - and an especially tight hug to anyone feeling similarly un-marvellous. My (unsolicited) low-stress, high reward, ‘make yourself feel a bit better’ suggestions are as follows:
Just do what feels possible right now… minimal-effort things that soothe you inside and out. Talk to people, (people that make you feel good). Spend 5 minutes in the sun if it appears - it’s therapy. Take a short walk (10 minutes will do) in the fresh air - this is also medicinal. Eat good food - pesto pasta/bread/chocolate are all very good ideas (although maybe not together). Read a book that makes you belly laugh. Wash your hair. Sleep as much as you can. Listen to Bob Marley’s ‘Three little Birds’. Don’t strive for perfection, enough is enough. And remember that it will all be ok in the end!
Huge love,
Steph X X X
Citrus tart
Fun fact, I first baked a lemon tart (Tarte Au Citron) during a Bake Off audition. I wasn’t particularly experienced with shortcrust pastry back then, (I just knew that the key to success was to handle it minimally), as for the ‘au citron’ element - well that sounded fancy, and therefore scary; it it’s written in French, it’s luxurious, elegant, sophisticated, right?
How did it go, you ask? Well… my terror of overworking the pastry dough meant that I made the most outrageously short, melt-in-the-mouth, but also blink and it shatters, shortcrust pastry, that I found impossible to nestle into the pastry tin, once blind baked there were obvious cracks in it, and I knew the custard was going to flood out when I poured it in… obviously I ploughed on (through some quite pitiful tears), the result was far from perfect but, it was a lesson in never giving up and it taught me quite a bit about shortcrust pastry - namely that it was correct not to overwork it, but that you do actually have to combine the ingredients!
I actually made a citrus tart during week 5 of the competition too (clearly a succour for punishment, also lacking in creativity!!) - it was considerably more successful than my first attempt, although I have since learned more lessons regarding the need for a super sturdy pastry case, the importance of pre-heating the ‘custard’, and I’ve slightly tweaked the ratio of custard ingredients for an improved ‘mouth-feel’ and flavour.
The basis of my recipe doesn’t deviate hugely from the classic (pioneered by the Roux brothers back in the 1980’s). The subtly sweet pastry shell is rich, melting, and has some lasting crispness owing to its lengthy blind bake. The citrus custard is smooth, velvety, creamy, and full of zingy citrus flavour - the addition of a little lime here is magical, I think. This pale-yellow custard is baked until just set (serious wobble territory - again, very on brand for this week), before being left to cool - a short period in the fridge yields a glass like finish on top. It’s simple yet sophisticated, elegant, full of charm and comfort - it makes you smile!
I have a few notes below on how to avoid cracking in the surface of your tart, and my biggest tip here is DO NOT OVER BAKE this ray of sunshine!
Right, should we crack on? I think so…
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