This week has been a bit allovertheplace, sort of upside down and back to front and I can’t work out what day I’m on or what I’m meant to be doing. Everything and nothing has happened and I feel out of sorts. Am I dreaming?
On Tuesday morning my routine 7:15am alarm didn’t go off… well, I’m 99.9999% sure it didn’t go off. If it did, then I think I’m going mad, which actually, I’m now thinking is probably the case because iPhone alarms never don’t go off when they have been instructed to do so, do they? And when they do obediently rattle your bones each morning, they won’t shut up until you tell them to.
Neither Twitter nor Google are aware of similar iPhone alarm mishaps on this date (I obviously checked in with them both first). Therefore, I can only assume that I switched off said alarm and went back to sleep… but I have zero recollection of this.
So, my rational conclusion is that I’m going mad. And if you need further proof, on Wednesday, I picked up a dish that had just come out of the oven with bare hands and branded myself… I then thrust said hand under hot water (not intentional but totally not ideal) which made for super-hot ouchyness. I also ended up shampooing my hair THREE times on Thursday, I usually give it two doses but having merrily slapped on shampoo no.3 and massaged it around my head for a bit, realised it seemed an all too familiar scenario. It ended up being an overly soapy situation that prolonged the torture of a hair wash. Super.
I wonder if a combination of caffeine consumption and poor sleep is responsible. I accidentally fell down a ‘baking with coffee’ hole this week and have subsequently sampled a hefty amount of caffeine infused goods… including another attempt at the ‘coffee-cake-that-didn’t-taste-of-coffee’ I told you about a couple a weeks ago. It still doesn’t taste of coffee even with half a jar of the stuff in it and now I’m of the mind that cakes only taste of coffee if you drown them in a soaking syrup and combine them with a suitably coffee-y frosting, good to know.
It’s not all bad though, there have also been some successes… notably, a tiramisu style cake which I could eat in vast proportions, and a very special Mocha shortbread that I’m sharing the recipe for below.
This shortbread has a special place in my heart because it’s a riff on the recipe I baked FIVE WHOLE YEARS AGO (I simply cannot accept that it’s been this long) in that big white tent. I’m so excited for you to try it now too.
I also feel like we’re entering peak biscuit season… and thus we all need biscuits. They become medicinal when it gets colder and darker I think, a currency of happiness. My point is that you should probably prioritise making or stocking up on biscuits.
What is also happiful is baking a small batch of granola on a rainy Sunday afternoon when you feel shattered and miserable and very much in need of something sweet to snack on. A single serving cupcake is also a reasonable idea unless you both fail to grease the miniature tin you bake it in, and over fill it, such that you end up with a volcano-style cake eruption, and a cake that won’t part from its tin.
If you can muster the energy, cleaning the house – get a mate to help you - and changing your bed, also make you feel fresh and cleansed and momentarily re-energised.
OK, it’s time for a proper debrief about the most important moment of the week - BAKE OFF?? How insanely good are this year’s gang? I’ll be honest, I thought the signatures looked ‘ok’, ya know? Not wildly amazing, just good - gawd, I sound MEAN! I was subsequently very impressed with the attempts at mini-Battenberg… particularly given the lack of recipe - I tell you now, I would have had a complete meltdown if I’d have been asked to bake something without a recipe. Then the showstoppers; OMG, they were utterly ASTONISHING, like, crazyyyy good!!! The talent in the tent this year seems insane! Oh and, as ever, they seem like a fab bunch of people. We have so much to look forward to over the next 10 weeks, don’t we?
… you know what else I’m looking forward to? Lasagne, I need it… and sweet buns filled with fruit and custardy cream, and things with ginger and apple in them, and warm puddings with more custard… I need cosy food. Must schedule for all of the above.
And now for some context… I’ve written this in blissful trance whilst walking on the treadmill at the gym (not running because, sore leg-gate is still in force, I don’t want to talk about it because it’s making me anxious, ok?). I’ve been shamefully antisocial as I’ve had my headphones in playing absolutely nothing, and have avoided eye-contact/potential human interaction at all costs… I actually feel guilty, I think Sue, fancied a chat but I was too in my own writey World to notice until it was too late. Bad form from me. Must do better in future. Anyway, I sort of feel like I’ve been catching up with friends whilst having a nice walk… admittedly I could have improved things massively by walking outside, maybe clutching a hot coffee, and actually talking to you all in real life… but 43 minutes have passed in a rather relaxing way, I’ve barely noticed the time go by and it’s been lovely, so thank you for your company.
I do hope you’re doing ok, if you’re not. Let me hear about your not OK-ness, because a problem shared is a problem halved - not actually sure that’s mathematically accurate but I, and probably others on here, can relate… and I always think that makes the not-ok-ness feel a tiny percentage less not ok, right? So, yes, let’s chat…
Big love, big hugs!
Steph X X X
Mocha shortbread
Ok, time to get excited, I think you’re going to love this one… I do anyway. And it has a sentimental value - so doubly fab!
If I remember rightly this shortbread recipe was adapted from a Mary Berry recipe - she was my go-to for recipes during Bake Off. It incorporates a proportion of semolina which contributes to the shortbread’s wonderful flavour and texture.
Compared to the standard shortbread ratio of 1:2:3, sugar: butter: flour, these have a touch less sugar and a little more butter which results in an ultra buttery, not too sweet, tender shortbread with a little bit of crunch to it - simply perfect IMO.
To incorporate coffee into the dough, I suggest creating a paste which I rationalise must be equivalent to adding vanilla extract(?), but, as I have stressed below, you must be careful not to add too much liquid to the instant coffee or you’ll end up with an overly hydrated shortbread dough.
It’s up to you if you dunk the baked biscuits in melted chocolate, I actually adore them naked - i.e. just coffee shortbread - if you do this, you could shower them in caster sugar as soon as they come out of the oven for a bit of extra sparkle. If you do go for the mocha vibe, choose your favourite chocolate, temper it if you can be bothered - I didn’t - dunk, let it set and then dive in!
Right, I’m too excited, let’s get cracking!
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